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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Magnanimous gesture

http://alcuinbramerton.blogspot.com/2006/05/magnanimous-gesture.html
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Very kindly,
Mr Tissington,
Of Ashbourne,
Derbyshire,
Signed papers
At his local hospital,
And officially
Committed himself
To an organ donor programme.

In the rubric
Of the document,
Deep down
In the small print,
He donated his head
To science.

It was a magnanimous gesture,
But a stupid head.

Stupid heads
Cannot easily be
Relocated.

But eventually
They found a stupid body
And attached Mr Tissington's
Stupid head to it.

There was genuine hope,
Among the medical team,
That once the transplanted organ
And its recipient body
Had acclimatised,
And come out of life support
And counselling,
They might have a useful role
To play
In the war

Against terror.




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A taxi is possible

Sympathetic help for unacceptably fat women

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Sunday, May 28, 2006

The angel paths are open

Perhaps what we call death
Is not that at all.

Perhaps what we call death
Is just a change
Of address.

We slip through
An interdimensional portal

Back into our real home.

Perhaps death was where we were,
Down here in the matrix,
Not where we go
Up there
When we leave.

Deep down we know that
The angel paths are open;
The angel paths are beckoning;
The angel paths remember
The fluttering feel

Of our feet.


Undead but positive

The consciousness of the angels

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Friday, May 26, 2006

The good modern husband

Quite properly, a legally constituted pair-bond between husband and wife allows for give and take on both sides. But in these changing times, people can become confused about their role within the family. In response to numerous requests, we offer the following advice to men of advanced character.

Have dinner ready. The good modern husband always has dinner ready. He plans ahead, the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his wife's return. This is a way of letting her know that you are thinking about her and are concerned about her needs. Most women are hungry when they come home from work and the prospect of a good meal, especially her favourite dish, is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you will be refreshed when she arrives. Touch up your aftershave, put on a new tie and be fresh-looking. She has just spent the day with a lot of demanding, work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for her. Her tedious day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your wife arrives home, gather up school books, toys, paper etc. Then run a duster over the tables. In the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for her to unwind by. Your wife will feel that she has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for her comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, comb their hair and change their clothes. They are little treasures and she will like to see them playing their part.

Minimise all noise. At the time of her arrival, eliminate all noise from the dishwasher, the washing machine and the vacuum cleaner. Encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see her when she arrives home. Greet her with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please her.

Listen to her closely. You may have a dozen important things to tell her, but the moment of her arrival home is not the time. Let her talk first - remember that her topics of conversation are far more important than yours.

Make the evening hers. Never complain if she comes home late, or goes out to dinner with others, or to places of entertainment without you. Instead, just try to understand her female world of strain and pressure and her very real need to be home and to relax without judgement.

Your goal is to make your home a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your wife can renew herself in body and in spirit.

Some obvious don'ts. Don't greet her with problems and complaints when she comes home. Don't complain if she's late for dinner. Don't complain if she stays out all night. Count such things as minor compared with what she must have gone through during her busy, difficult day. Don't interrogate her about her actions or question her integrity. Remember, she is the master of the house and as such she will always exercise her will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no need to question her.

A good modern husband always knows his place.




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Marriage night

Marriage in trouble

Casualty

Men's issues

Women's issues

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Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Good like that

He was very short
Of money.

He only had
Twenty three pounds left
To get him through
To Friday,
And there were still
Four days to go.

So he decided
To go out
And give some of his money away.

He gave ten pounds
To a tramp
On the corner
He had not seen before,
And eight pounds
To a woman
At the Post Office
Who hadn't got enough
In her purse
To send a parcel
To her mother
In Africa,
And four pounds to
A student
With a green box
Collecting for
A rainforest biodiversity
Charity
In Sulawesi.

Then, on Thursday,
A letter arrived.

It contained a cheque
For two hundred and fifty pounds
From an old aunt
He had forgotten he had,
And who said she had more
Money than she needed
And was sure that he could
Put it to better use
Than her.

The universe

Is good like that.



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A New Age prospectus

The central question of the universe

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Saturday, May 13, 2006

The feast of Corpus Christi

Dr Piers Stockton,
Of Cambridge University,
Is a
Closet
Anglo-Catholic.

Late at night
On the eve
Of the feast
Of Corpus Christi,
He creeps into the
Holy Office,
Retrieves the key of the
College chapel,
Enters the building by
The south chancel door,
And,
Approaching the high altar,
Neatly places
A fresh, hot
Slice of
Stuffed-crust pizza

In the hanging pyx.


Why is church so serious?

The Piers Stockton cycle of koans

More Norfolk koans

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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Interview for a new USA president

Page update: 25.04.08

Because of widespread electoral corruption
In the United States of America,
We have decided to address
The democratic deficit
And appoint the next president ourselves.

The selection process
Will be rigorous,
But fair.

Only white males
With non-Jewish names
And proven business connections
With the Bin Laden family
Will be considered.

There is a person specification
And there is a job specification.

The person specification is as follows:
The successful candidate
Will appear politely stupid,
But under the surface
Of this undemanding
Theatrical carapace
He will be deeply evil
In a down-home
American sort of way.

The successful candidate
Will be a spiritually illiterate fundamentalist,
But not just a religious fundamentalist –
He will also be
An educational fundamentalist,
An economic fundamentalist,
An environmental fundamentalist,
A cultural fundamentalist,
A political fundamentalist,
And a moral fundamentalist.

The successful candidate
Will be an American supremacist
With a sovereign disregard
For the good of the wider world.

He should also be capable
Of playing a tolerable
Round of golf
With corrupt buddies
During office hours.

The job specification is as follows:
To lead America
Into splendid isolation
And, once there,
To bomb
The rest of the planet
To pulp.

We invite applications
From persons of good standing
Within the Christian community.





...........................................




Bush White House begins to disintegrate

The American Problem

Jesus recounts a dream he had about George Bush

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Monday, May 08, 2006

Maybe try Romanism?

Page update: 04.07.10

We are often asked by innocent, impressionable young people, with iPods in their pockets and Rampant Rabbits in their sportsbags, what, exactly, we think of Roman Churchianity (also known as the Roman Catholic Church).

Our response to these enquiries is always measured, balanced and responsible.

We point out that although the quality of popes has declined recently, and there are no longer the fringe benefits for altar boys which once, in happier times, were enjoyed by many, Roman churchianity is still a hobby worthy of consideration, particularly by those with dark-side antiquarian interests.

If, for example, a modern young person is looking for religion rather than spirituality, then Roman churchianity may well be a live option.

Some well-informed, contemporary authorities say that Roman churchianity is church with the Christianity taken out, and a sprinkle of negative energy and spiritual fascism added in. This is a fair comment, but it is not the whole story.

Certainly, if guilt, sin, sectarianism and dogmatic-style unprotected sex are what you are looking for, then Roman churchianity may be right up your street.

But others say that Roman churchianity is not a thing to get involved with if you are of a nervous disposition and feel uncomfortable with a religion which apes the style of the Bush-Cheney White House, i.e. one which combines fundamentalist mantras with an all-consuming desire to dominate the weak.

In our view, this is slightly unfair. Many people who, in past centuries, proudly attached their undergarments to the mast of Roman churchianity, have now been reincarnated into quite positive, fun-loving, New Age careers.

And it should not be forgotten, that Roman churchianity generates a good deal of helpful literature. We would notice especially, in this context, the Catechism of the Roman Catholic Church. This is a well thought-out book which offers the informed reader many interesting old ideas which can form the basis of a lively, individuated, do-it-yourself church lifestyle. And the book contains several interesting theories which can be useful as discussion-starters when having a drink with Muslim friends.

In this modern age, Roman churchianity needs all the help it can get. And it is getting a lot of help from the media. This popular support is to be welcomed and trusted.



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The Criminal History of The Papacy (3 pdf files) 1 .. 2 .. 3
The endemic corruption which has blighted Roman Churchianity for over ten centuries. Tony Bushby writes in Nexus Magazine (2007).


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Why is church so serious?

Sermon abuse

What caused the death of religion?

The Gospel of Judas

Da Vinci's Magdalene

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Friday, May 05, 2006

Only Now

Perhaps Grace
Is the sacrament
Of the present moment;
The abundance
Of the universe
Which knows only Now.

Perhaps Grace
Is the realisation
In felt experience
That there is nothing
Knowable
Outside
The I am
Which is God.

Perhaps Grace
Is the incoming
Niagara
Of love
Which pours into the soul
When you realise
That you are
Sufficient
In yourself
And need no other
To complete
The full and fearless
Experience of your being.

Perhaps Grace
Is detachment
From the matrix illusion

Of need.


Interdimensional travels

More Norfolk koans

A New Age prospectus

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Generation gap

Dr Piers Stockton
Of Cambridge University,
Is spending the day
With his young nephew,
Alexander,
Aged 8.

They find themselves
In a hamburger emporium
In the remote
Cathedral city of Ely.

Despite the fact
That both his parents
Read arts subjects
At a northern university,
Young Alexander is
A surprisingly bright child.

Dr Stockton is introducing him
To the rudiments
Of quantum mechanics.

“Now obviously, Alexander,
In a classical mechanical system,
The state-space
Composed of n particles,
Obtained by specifying the values
Of 6n real-valued quantities —
Three components of position and
Three of momentum
For each particle in the system —
Is a 6n-dimensional coordinate space ….”

“May I have another
Butterscotch milkshake,
Uncle Piers?”

“Not until you’ve grasped
The rudiments
Of quantum mechanics,
Alexander.”

“But Uncle, that will take
Millions of years
And by then
All the butterscotch milkshakes
Will have become the
Fossilised artefacts
Of a bygone age.”

“Only if you accept uncritically
The prevailing Western notion
Of linear time,
Alexander.”

“Yes, Uncle Piers.”

“Now clearly, the situation
Is a little different
In quantum mechanics,
Where there are mathematically
Describable ways
Of combining the values
Of the quantities
That don't represent
Physically possible states.
Indeed, the state-spaces
Of quantum mechanics
Are special kinds of vector spaces,
Called Hilbert spaces ….”

“When I grow up,
Uncle Piers,
I’m going to be a politician.
And then I’m going to
Use my power to
Steal some extra votes
In Florida, Ohio and Sedgefield,
And become
A benign dictator.
And then when I am
A benign dictator,
I will ban all science –
Not just practical science –
I will ban all talking
And all thinking
About science.
Only in that way
Can the world
Become a better place.”

“Yes, Alexander.”



The Piers Stockton cycle of koans

More Norfolk koans

Science = Religion ?

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