Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Emergency chocolate cake pictures

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Picture: Thin woman ready for chocolate cake


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We offer the following pastoral support for desperate modern women:

Chocolate cake picture 1

Chocolate cake picture 2

Chocolate cake picture 3

Chocolate cake picture 4

Chocolate cake picture 5

Chocolate cake picture 6

Chocolate cake picture 7

Chocolate cake picture 8

Chocolate cake picture 9

Chocolate cake picture 10



An advanced spiritual exercise for Tantric Chocopractors is offered below

(1) Dress sensibly in edible, chocolate-coloured ceremonial vestments worn over a crotchless praline undergarment.


(2) Light seven chocolate-coloured candles.


(3) Burn a little chocolate-flavoured incense.


(4) Centre yourself with sincere chocopractic intention.


(5) On a big screen, view each of the ten chocolate cake photographs listed above, slowly and in the order given.


(6) As each chocolate cake comes into view, admire its plump, Rubinesque chocolateness without judgment. Notice its extravagant, gustatory potential, its uncoded promise of instant gratification, its desire to give itself to you completely, deliciously and without delay or qualification. (Note: Do not worship the chocolate cake; simply respect it as a cosmic colleague, equal to you but subtly different.)


(7) Breathe deeply in and out seven times. Rejoice in the fact that you are a Woman and that Chocolate is the Destiny of Woman.


(8) Press the tip of your tongue against the C-spot in the roof of your mouth and inhale the unconditional chocolateness of the universe.


(9) Notice how your heart is melting like chocolate. Thank the chocolate for its gift of abundant liquidity. Merge with the chocolate and go wherever it takes you.


(10) Recall how your shamanic forebears rehearsed this ritual millennia ago under starbright skies at full moon. Recall their thrill at the coming of chocolate, centuries before chocolate was invented by Bobina the Bilder of Baden-Baden during the Black Forest High Renaissance.


(11) Visualise yourself as a helpless, defenceless tastebud besieged by chocolate cake. Surrender to the invader without fear.


(12) As your consciousness merges with the quintessential chocolateness of all being, journey into sacred space, release your inner child, and offer your inner child a Cadbury's Creme Egg.


(13) Eat nothing yourself. Be strong. Be deeply and transcendentally content. Vote Republican. Experience no guilt.


Picture: Fat woman sitting on beach thinking of chocolate cake




Eating disorder

Seven toffee doughnuts

Lose weight feel great

Blue mouthwash

Platonic relationship

Sympathetic help for unacceptably fat women

Fat slag spirituality

Women's issues

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Saturday, January 02, 2016

My name is God and these are My instructions

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Picture: Megaphone Churchianity. My name is God and these are My instructions.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0kPMwqz-Kxw/Vok9dIsV_0I/AAAAAAAAH4c/n3SOLuDf4Ss/s1600/Ruined%2Bchurches.%2BRuined%2BChurchianity.%2B%25281%2529%2B%25231ab.jpg?SSImageQuality=Full

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Good morning, My name is God, and these are My instructions:

(1) As your Creator, I have given you a good brain, but I do not want you to use it, unless you are a priest.

(2) If you are a priest, I would like you to use your brain to invent lies and deceits about the origins of Christianity, to edit and suppress inspired scriptures you do not like, to invent good spiritual reasons why women should be oppressed and discriminated against, and to assemble dogmas which equate pleasure with evil, and Christianity with churchianity.

(3) Also, if you are a priest, I want you to use your brain to invent a theory of substitutionary atonement which embodies each of the following signifiers:

(a) A chap gets killed a couple of thousand years before the current generation is born and, therefore, a couple of thousand years before the current generation has thought or done anything.
(b) I, God, permit this chap to be killed instead of killing the current generation myself.
(c) This gratuitous murder wipes away all the current generation's sins two thousand years before the current generation has had the time or the opportunity to commit any sins.
(d) The gratuitous murder buys a lifetime ticket to heaven for the current generation, providing that each individual in the current generation goes through the motions of parroting the appropriate religious mantras.

(4) If you are not a priest, that is quite alright, but I want you to switch off your brain completely, become intellectually docile and do not question any theory of substitutionary atonement which embodies the above signifiers.

(5) As your Creator, I have given you a decent, lively set of genitals, well-lubricated with sex hormones, but I do not want you to use them if you are a priest.

(6) If you are a priest, I want you to be sexually satisfied by listening to the confessions of the laity and by telling them how not to use their own well-lubricated genitals, or the well-lubricated genitals of third parties, such as women. To equip you to do this important work, you may view closed-access pornography websites of the kind that your spiritual director will indicate to you.

(7) If you are a priest and you experience strong sexual yearnings yourself, do not hesitate to take your pleasure, in a coercive and non-consensual way, with any minors that come to hand, but make sure that your activities in this domain are kept absolutely secret. Protect, also, the secrets of other priests, particularly if you become a bishop.

(8) If you are a priest, encourage the less well-educated members of your flock, and people of inferior ethnicity, not to use condoms. This will help to overpopulate the planet beyond its carrying capacity, will increase poverty in the Third World, and will assist the rapid spread of AIDS.

(9) My Holy Spirit helped your forebears to invent fire. This was so that you could burn to death all those who, in non-churchy ways, use the brains or the genitals I gave them.

(10) My Holy Spirit has arranged for unimaginable wealth to come your way. Do not use this wealth to feed the poor or to support widows and orphans. Use this wealth to build vast, unnecessary, limestone warehouses and to fill those warehouses with superfluous gold, silver, gems, painted glass, broderie, statuary, artworks, mosaics, lavish carving in wood and marble, extravagant vestments, gilded ornamentation, richly-bound books, and ostentatious monuments to the dead.

 
My name is God, and these are my instructions. Have a nice day, credulous drones.


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Picture: Ruined churches. Ruined Churchianity. (2)
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-u6T765Q-0Jc/Vok-N5rs7CI/AAAAAAAAH4s/oFvBILfoO2o/s1600/Ruined%2Bchurches.%2BRuined%2BChurchianity.%2B%25283%2529%2B%25231ab.jpg?SSImageQuality=Full

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The Criminal History of The Papacy 1 .. 2 .. 3
The endemic corruption which has blighted Roman Churchianity for over ten centuries. Tony Bushby writes in Nexus Magazine (2006). These three links connect to pdf files.


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Dershowitz silent on absence of Holocaust proof
Alan Dershowitz, the Felix Frankfurter Professor of Law at Harvard University, has been challenged to provide proof that the popular Zionist narrative about Auschwitz is something other than an expedient fantasy.


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Why is church so serious?

What caused the death of religion?

The Ten or Eleven Commandments

Creator creatrix creation creature

The central question of the universe

Sermon abuse

Female bishops

Repent, the Kingdom of God is at hand!

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