An airline pilot
Is walking his dog
Along a canal towpath
Near Tring
In Hertfordshire.
A large fish
Pokes its head out of the water.
The dog
Barks at the fish.
With the airline pilot's permission,
The fish
Eats
The dog.
It is a Jack Russell terrier:
Pleasantly crunchy,
But rather dry
On the palate.
................................
Time for walkies
Feline pause
More Norfolk koans
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Sunday, February 27, 2005
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Underpants
His underpants are uncomfortably tight.
He considers the position.
Either he can remove his underpants
And replace them
With a more commodious pair,
Or he can reduce
The volume of flesh
Which the underpants contain.
And there is a third option.
He could make do
With no underpants at all
For an experimental period of six months.
Thereafter, the position could be reviewed.
.................................
Small but passionate
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Gender confusion
A large badger
Walks into a delicatessen
in Ludlow, Shropshire.
The woman behind the counter
Looks at him.
"I'm a female badger,
Not a male badger,"
Says the badger.
"I expect you'd like
Some duck paté,"
Says the woman.
Magnanimous gesture
Worth Matravers in Dorset
Olive restaurant in Bromley
Men make such hopeless priests
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Walks into a delicatessen
in Ludlow, Shropshire.
The woman behind the counter
Looks at him.
"I'm a female badger,
Not a male badger,"
Says the badger.
"I expect you'd like
Some duck paté,"
Says the woman.
Magnanimous gesture
Worth Matravers in Dorset
Olive restaurant in Bromley
Men make such hopeless priests
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Contact
She looks into a mirror.
A female wolf looks back.
Several hundred miles away
In the Arctic circle,
A female wolf looks into a mirror.
A female human being looks back.
It must be a software error,
Or a case of identity theft.
Or, just possibly,
The animal people
Are making contact at last.
..............................
Mermaid
A female wolf looks back.
Several hundred miles away
In the Arctic circle,
A female wolf looks into a mirror.
A female human being looks back.
It must be a software error,
Or a case of identity theft.
Or, just possibly,
The animal people
Are making contact at last.
..............................
Mermaid
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Toytown
Bigears pulls a large, black bible
Off the shelf.
"According to John's Gospel,
Chapter three,
Verse 38,
Noddy,
Your attitude is unsatisfactory."
"I'll take a spanking, Bigears."
Bigears lets him off.
The last time he spanked Noddy,
The boy converted to Islam.
In Sussex
Patio window
More Norfolk koans
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Off the shelf.
"According to John's Gospel,
Chapter three,
Verse 38,
Noddy,
Your attitude is unsatisfactory."
"I'll take a spanking, Bigears."
Bigears lets him off.
The last time he spanked Noddy,
The boy converted to Islam.
In Sussex
Patio window
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Monday, February 21, 2005
School run
It was not easy
To shave her legs,
While driving a car
Full of children
On the school run,
While making a call
On her mobile
To the hairdressers,
While doing breathing exercises,
While listening to Classic FM,
While eating chocolate,
And testing her oldest son
On his photosynthesis.
But she did it.
Such is the energy
Of the Goddess
These days.
Interdimensional travels
More Norfolk koans
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To shave her legs,
While driving a car
Full of children
On the school run,
While making a call
On her mobile
To the hairdressers,
While doing breathing exercises,
While listening to Classic FM,
While eating chocolate,
And testing her oldest son
On his photosynthesis.
But she did it.
Such is the energy
Of the Goddess
These days.
Interdimensional travels
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Synchronicity
A bald man
Is fly-fishing
On the banks of the River Tweed
At Berwick.
The periscope
Of a nuclear submarine
On Nato exercises
Breaks the surface.
The man catches no fish.
The periscope does not work.
The two incidents
Take place 73 years apart,
And in different hemispheres.
It is an extraordinary coincidence.
A new scripture shortly to be published
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Is fly-fishing
On the banks of the River Tweed
At Berwick.
The periscope
Of a nuclear submarine
On Nato exercises
Breaks the surface.
The man catches no fish.
The periscope does not work.
The two incidents
Take place 73 years apart,
And in different hemispheres.
It is an extraordinary coincidence.
A new scripture shortly to be published
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Student life
He is rushing
To complete
An essay.
It has to be handed in,
At the latest,
By 4.30pm
A week ago last Friday.
Further delay is out of the question.
His girlfriend asks him
If he would like
To take his trousers off.
He says yes.
His girlfriend asks him
If there is anything else
He would like
To take off.
He says yes.
His girlfriend asks him
If there is anything in particular
He would like
To do now.
He says yes.
Further delay is out of the question.
Never settle down
Gender confusion
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
To complete
An essay.
It has to be handed in,
At the latest,
By 4.30pm
A week ago last Friday.
Further delay is out of the question.
His girlfriend asks him
If he would like
To take his trousers off.
He says yes.
His girlfriend asks him
If there is anything else
He would like
To take off.
He says yes.
His girlfriend asks him
If there is anything in particular
He would like
To do now.
He says yes.
Further delay is out of the question.
Never settle down
Gender confusion
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Friday, February 18, 2005
American Dream
The burger bar
Is full of fat
People,
With fat
Food-filled faces,
And fat
Food-filled figures,
Filling up
With more
Fat, food-filled food.
The burger bar is bloated
With superfluous consumption.
If this is the American Dream,
What is the American Nightmare?
.................
Lost nation
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Is full of fat
People,
With fat
Food-filled faces,
And fat
Food-filled figures,
Filling up
With more
Fat, food-filled food.
The burger bar is bloated
With superfluous consumption.
If this is the American Dream,
What is the American Nightmare?
.................
Lost nation
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
The police are very good
Alcuin Bramerton profile ..... Index of blog contents ..... Home
While parking his car
Outside the dry cleaners,
A man kills several pedestrians.
While he is inside the dry cleaners,
His car continues to kill pedestrians,
But in a less organised way.
The police are very good about it.
They wait
Until he has paid
His dry cleaning bill,
Before shooting him dead.
It is a quiet village, normally.
But in a mature democracy,
There have to be checks and balances.
Outside the dry cleaners,
A man kills several pedestrians.
While he is inside the dry cleaners,
His car continues to kill pedestrians,
But in a less organised way.
The police are very good about it.
They wait
Until he has paid
His dry cleaning bill,
Before shooting him dead.
It is a quiet village, normally.
But in a mature democracy,
There have to be checks and balances.
...............
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Tell me a little about yourself
A small boy knocks
At the Headmaster's door.
"Come in."
"I'm a new pupil at the school, sir.
I thought that I would come and say Hallo."
"Jolly good. Tell me a little about yourself."
"I'm an Indigo Child, sir.
I have come down
From the sixth dimension
To help you with
Your ascension process."
"Splendid."
.........................
Aquarian elf girl
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
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At the Headmaster's door.
"Come in."
"I'm a new pupil at the school, sir.
I thought that I would come and say Hallo."
"Jolly good. Tell me a little about yourself."
"I'm an Indigo Child, sir.
I have come down
From the sixth dimension
To help you with
Your ascension process."
"Splendid."
.........................
Aquarian elf girl
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Monday, February 14, 2005
Cheese sandwich
He feels like a cheese sandwich.
There is no cheese in the fridge.
He looks in the mirror.
He looks like a cheese sandwich.
There is no cheese in the fridge.
Very carefully he unfixes
The mirror from the wall,
And climbs into the fridge with it.
...............................
There is no cheese in the fridge.
He looks in the mirror.
He looks like a cheese sandwich.
There is no cheese in the fridge.
Very carefully he unfixes
The mirror from the wall,
And climbs into the fridge with it.
...............................
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Pope terror talks
The Pope meets
Osama bin Laden
At a hunt ball
In Sunderland.
There are smoked lobster canapés
With a creamed spinach topping.
The Pope says:
"Would you mind awfully
If we beatified you?"
Osama replies:
"I am a saint already.
But I would welcome an introduction
To Opus Dei."
A security guard listening-in says:
"Either of you two fancy
Another signed photograph
Of Thomas the Tank Engine?"
.......................................
Opus Dei arrive for Mass
A photograph
.......................................
Creative subversion
Yoghurt shelves
Why is church so serious?
The mean streets
More Norfolk koans
Jolly frightening, this terror business
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Osama bin Laden
At a hunt ball
In Sunderland.
There are smoked lobster canapés
With a creamed spinach topping.
The Pope says:
"Would you mind awfully
If we beatified you?"
Osama replies:
"I am a saint already.
But I would welcome an introduction
To Opus Dei."
A security guard listening-in says:
"Either of you two fancy
Another signed photograph
Of Thomas the Tank Engine?"
.......................................
Opus Dei arrive for Mass
A photograph
.......................................
Creative subversion
Yoghurt shelves
Why is church so serious?
The mean streets
More Norfolk koans
Jolly frightening, this terror business
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Jesus is not an icon
Jesus is not an icon
Of repressed purity,
A perfect butterfly
Officially pinned in position,
Secured beneath museum glass,
For the safety
Of the onlooker.
Jesus is a tumbling schoolboy:
He makes mud pies.
The mud
Flicks a feather
And flies.
Jesus is much younger
Than an icon.
And less fixed
By paint and pins.
Of repressed purity,
A perfect butterfly
Officially pinned in position,
Secured beneath museum glass,
For the safety
Of the onlooker.
Jesus is a tumbling schoolboy:
He makes mud pies.
The mud
Flicks a feather
And flies.
Jesus is much younger
Than an icon.
And less fixed
By paint and pins.
......................................
Jesus is performing healing miracles through Torbi el Mekki in Morocco
Monday, January 31, 2005
Patio window
"What shape were the missiles
Which smashed through your patio window?"
asks the policeman.
"Round," says the woman.
"Round? Do you mean spherical?"
"Yes, spherical missiles."
"So we're talking balls?"
"We're talking a lot of balls."
"How much balls are we talking?"
"In Roman numerals,
We are talking vee-one-one-one balls."
"I make that eight balls, in new money."
"The indication is, officer, that the balls
Were deliberately energised
By local feet."
"In your perception, madam,
How many local feet energised the balls?
"Vee-one-one-one."
"I make that eight feet, in new money."
"Yes, you do."
"So that's an average
Of one foot energising each ball."
"Correct."
"How long in Roman numerals
Did it take all eight balls
To penetrate your fenestration?"
"About nought point one-vee seconds."
"So the balls arrived in quick succession?"
"Yes, It was a tightly coordinated attack of balls."
"Does this happen a lot in the village?"
"It happens several times a week, officer."
"I see."
"Only yesterday,
Doris Carruthers was in her greenhouse
Doing her nasturtiums
When eight tightly coordinated balls
Crashed through her roof
And showered her with vitreous debris."
"Is there a recognisable pattern
To the attacks?"
"Yes, officer, there is.
The first three balls
Come in an isosceles triangle formation,
And the remaining five
Follow closely behind
In a perfect pentagon."
"So the attacks aren't random?"
"No. In every observed case
There has been
A rigorous geometrical precision about them."
"I don't know what to suggest, madam."
"I suggest, officer,
That we get out of bed
And have a nice cup of tea."
The police are very good
The mean streets
Under the radar
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
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Which smashed through your patio window?"
asks the policeman.
"Round," says the woman.
"Round? Do you mean spherical?"
"Yes, spherical missiles."
"So we're talking balls?"
"We're talking a lot of balls."
"How much balls are we talking?"
"In Roman numerals,
We are talking vee-one-one-one balls."
"I make that eight balls, in new money."
"The indication is, officer, that the balls
Were deliberately energised
By local feet."
"In your perception, madam,
How many local feet energised the balls?
"Vee-one-one-one."
"I make that eight feet, in new money."
"Yes, you do."
"So that's an average
Of one foot energising each ball."
"Correct."
"How long in Roman numerals
Did it take all eight balls
To penetrate your fenestration?"
"About nought point one-vee seconds."
"So the balls arrived in quick succession?"
"Yes, It was a tightly coordinated attack of balls."
"Does this happen a lot in the village?"
"It happens several times a week, officer."
"I see."
"Only yesterday,
Doris Carruthers was in her greenhouse
Doing her nasturtiums
When eight tightly coordinated balls
Crashed through her roof
And showered her with vitreous debris."
"Is there a recognisable pattern
To the attacks?"
"Yes, officer, there is.
The first three balls
Come in an isosceles triangle formation,
And the remaining five
Follow closely behind
In a perfect pentagon."
"So the attacks aren't random?"
"No. In every observed case
There has been
A rigorous geometrical precision about them."
"I don't know what to suggest, madam."
"I suggest, officer,
That we get out of bed
And have a nice cup of tea."
The police are very good
The mean streets
Under the radar
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Jellybabies theme park
An old lady in a printed frock
Is standing in
A Jellybabies theme park
In Broadstairs.
She is watching
An illegal seal cull
Through night-vision binoculars.
Closer investigation
By the constabulary
Reveals that it is, in fact,
A trick of the light.
The Jellybabies theme park
Is in Whitstable.
Cheese sandwich
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Is standing in
A Jellybabies theme park
In Broadstairs.
She is watching
An illegal seal cull
Through night-vision binoculars.
Closer investigation
By the constabulary
Reveals that it is, in fact,
A trick of the light.
The Jellybabies theme park
Is in Whitstable.
Cheese sandwich
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Circus in Southwold
A group of small children
Is going to the circus
In Southwold, Suffolk.
Their childminder
Is a thin woman
With a briefcase.
"What have you got
In your briefcase, Miss?"
Asks one of the children.
"Three pounds of Semtex plastic explosive
Timed to go off at 3.45pm today,
And two and a half thousand ball bearings."
"Is your briefcase strong enough
To contain the explosion?"
"No, darling.
My briefcase is strong enough
To contain the explosive,
But insufficiently robust
To contain the explosion itself."
"Won't it make a bit of a mess, Miss?"
"I hope so, darling.
But then it'll be nice
And quiet, won't it?"
Generation gap
Intruders
Unlike the others
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Is going to the circus
In Southwold, Suffolk.
Their childminder
Is a thin woman
With a briefcase.
"What have you got
In your briefcase, Miss?"
Asks one of the children.
"Three pounds of Semtex plastic explosive
Timed to go off at 3.45pm today,
And two and a half thousand ball bearings."
"Is your briefcase strong enough
To contain the explosion?"
"No, darling.
My briefcase is strong enough
To contain the explosive,
But insufficiently robust
To contain the explosion itself."
"Won't it make a bit of a mess, Miss?"
"I hope so, darling.
But then it'll be nice
And quiet, won't it?"
Generation gap
Intruders
Unlike the others
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Seven toffee doughnuts
Having not eaten
For well over twenty minutes,
The young woman was hungry.
#
She logged on to the internet
And ordered a stuffed crust pizza
With double pepperoni and chocolate,
French fries,
Seven toffee doughnuts
And a butterscotch milkshake.
Imagine her surprise,
Two minutes later,
When out of her 3D printer
Came a small piece
Of lettuce
And a plastic cup of raspberry leaf tea.
.................................
Worth Matravers in Dorset
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Creepy
She is a very beautiful woman;
A perfectly anorexic
Supermodel with many legs.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
The beholder is an insect.
The eye is compound.
Is the beauty enhanced
By multiple images?
Or is the beauty diminished
By biting mouthparts?
Directory of blogs written by insects
Dangerous tree in Warwickshire
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
A perfectly anorexic
Supermodel with many legs.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
The beholder is an insect.
The eye is compound.
Is the beauty enhanced
By multiple images?
Or is the beauty diminished
By biting mouthparts?
Directory of blogs written by insects
Dangerous tree in Warwickshire
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Toenails
Alcuin Bramerton profile ..... Index of blog contents ..... Home
A young woman
Sits by a swimming pool
Painting her toenails.
It is midnight.
She wonders
Whether it is possible
To foretell the future
Using an avocado pear.
Her husband brings her
An avocado pear.
This is strange.
The young woman
Has no husband.
.........................
Aquarian elf girl
Unusual cloud-form over Launceston
Lose weight feel great
Sits by a swimming pool
Painting her toenails.
It is midnight.
She wonders
Whether it is possible
To foretell the future
Using an avocado pear.
Her husband brings her
An avocado pear.
This is strange.
The young woman
Has no husband.
.........................
Aquarian elf girl
Unusual cloud-form over Launceston
Lose weight feel great
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Poodle parlour in Purley
Alcuin Bramerton profile ..... Index of blog contents ..... Home
A thin man with a toothbrush
Stuck up his nose
Walks into a poodle parlour
In Purley.
The woman
Behind the counter
Looks at him.
The thin man with the toothbrush
Stuck up his nose
Looks back.
"What can I do for you, sir?"
Says the woman.
"I'd like to buy
An industrial-strength
Toothbrush-remover, please."
"Show me your poodle."
"I don't run a poodle."
"Do you have a poodle
Which runs itself?"
"I don't believe
In the existence
Of poodles."
"But are you sympathetic
To the general concept
Of poodles
As it functions
In the vernacular culture?"
"Wild poodles, yes.
Tame poodles, no.
Poodles should be left alone
To roam free
In the jungle."
"It is my duty
To enquire, sir,
Whether that is your last word
On the subject
Of poodles?"
"It is."
"Then for both business
And metaphysical reasons,
I must terminate this conversation."
................................
Images of poodles
1 2 3 4
Stuck up his nose
Walks into a poodle parlour
In Purley.
The woman
Behind the counter
Looks at him.
The thin man with the toothbrush
Stuck up his nose
Looks back.
"What can I do for you, sir?"
Says the woman.
"I'd like to buy
An industrial-strength
Toothbrush-remover, please."
"Show me your poodle."
"I don't run a poodle."
"Do you have a poodle
Which runs itself?"
"I don't believe
In the existence
Of poodles."
"But are you sympathetic
To the general concept
Of poodles
As it functions
In the vernacular culture?"
"Wild poodles, yes.
Tame poodles, no.
Poodles should be left alone
To roam free
In the jungle."
"It is my duty
To enquire, sir,
Whether that is your last word
On the subject
Of poodles?"
"It is."
"Then for both business
And metaphysical reasons,
I must terminate this conversation."
................................
Images of poodles
1 2 3 4
Images of toothbrushes
1 2 3 4
..............................
Pleasantly crunchy
Feline pause
World of Bears
Directory of blogs written by insects
More Norfolk koans
Strange news; strange times
Index of blog contents
Sunday, January 02, 2005
World of Bears
Page update: 28.02.08
The time is right to issue a statement about the bear problem.
There has been a lot of loose speculation in the media, recently, about the exact motivation of the bear population in launching multiple nocturnal investigations into human dustbins.
And there was that unhelpful cartoon in The New Yorker which depicted a bear sitting at a restaurant table, studying the menu, and saying to the waiter: "I know I shouldn't, but I'm going to have the garbage."
A lot of people laugh at bears. Sadly for some, it is the last thing that they laugh at in their lives.
It is only fair, I think, to record that for many of us of bipedal persuasion, the early literature of our spiritual formation involved prominent bear exemplars. I think of the Tedi Masters, Rupert, Pooh and Paddington in particular.
And Bigears should not be forgotten in this context, although Noddy might demur. Of course, Bigears was not a bear. But he was bear-like: that is the point. Bigears was more formidable, pastorally, in his day than any Johnny-come-lately armoured bear of the Dark Materials canon.
And we should not forget tarsiers. Tarsiers, in crepuscular conditions, may sometimes be confused with bears by those with zoological difficulties.
Now, I am not myself a bear. And I don't eat bears, even at Christmas. But I do like to hibernate. And, of course, I am fully sympathetic to the concerns of the beargarden community, particularly in its Thames Valley Homeland. As you all know by now, I have long been a trusted companion of the animal people.
I urge people of goodwill everywhere to extend cyber-cleansed screenpaws to our friends, the bears. At difficult times like these, they deserve our support and understanding. And if they are koalas, they need urgent relief from the marsupial culture which so unfortunately surrounds them.
I will speak about wallabies on a future occasion. There is an issue of vulgarity to be addressed. And there is an issue of under-achievement at Rugby Football.
For ease of reference, and in case it assists in calming public fears, I append herewith a hyperlink to a high-resolution image of a tarsier.
Whoops! Sorry. That was the wrong one. Where are we now? Ah, yes. Here we are. That's better. Tarquin the Tarsier.
Alcuin Bramerton
(bear-friend)
..................................
How silly is salvation?
Toenails
Pope terror talks
Index of blog contents
The time is right to issue a statement about the bear problem.
There has been a lot of loose speculation in the media, recently, about the exact motivation of the bear population in launching multiple nocturnal investigations into human dustbins.
And there was that unhelpful cartoon in The New Yorker which depicted a bear sitting at a restaurant table, studying the menu, and saying to the waiter: "I know I shouldn't, but I'm going to have the garbage."
A lot of people laugh at bears. Sadly for some, it is the last thing that they laugh at in their lives.
It is only fair, I think, to record that for many of us of bipedal persuasion, the early literature of our spiritual formation involved prominent bear exemplars. I think of the Tedi Masters, Rupert, Pooh and Paddington in particular.
And Bigears should not be forgotten in this context, although Noddy might demur. Of course, Bigears was not a bear. But he was bear-like: that is the point. Bigears was more formidable, pastorally, in his day than any Johnny-come-lately armoured bear of the Dark Materials canon.
And we should not forget tarsiers. Tarsiers, in crepuscular conditions, may sometimes be confused with bears by those with zoological difficulties.
Now, I am not myself a bear. And I don't eat bears, even at Christmas. But I do like to hibernate. And, of course, I am fully sympathetic to the concerns of the beargarden community, particularly in its Thames Valley Homeland. As you all know by now, I have long been a trusted companion of the animal people.
I urge people of goodwill everywhere to extend cyber-cleansed screenpaws to our friends, the bears. At difficult times like these, they deserve our support and understanding. And if they are koalas, they need urgent relief from the marsupial culture which so unfortunately surrounds them.
I will speak about wallabies on a future occasion. There is an issue of vulgarity to be addressed. And there is an issue of under-achievement at Rugby Football.
For ease of reference, and in case it assists in calming public fears, I append herewith a hyperlink to a high-resolution image of a tarsier.
Whoops! Sorry. That was the wrong one. Where are we now? Ah, yes. Here we are. That's better. Tarquin the Tarsier.
Alcuin Bramerton
(bear-friend)
..................................
How silly is salvation?
Toenails
Pope terror talks
Index of blog contents
The central question of the universe
It is time
We addressed honestly,
The central question
Of the universe.
What is
The central question
Of the universe?
The central question
Of the universe is this:
Where the bloody hell
Did I put the chocolate biscuits?
........................
The quest is on
Is God an idealist?
Directory of blogs written by insects
Creative subversion
Slippery questions
Index of blog contents
Strange news; strange times
Spirituality websites worth watching
We addressed honestly,
The central question
Of the universe.
What is
The central question
Of the universe?
The central question
Of the universe is this:
Where the bloody hell
Did I put the chocolate biscuits?
........................
The quest is on
Is God an idealist?
Directory of blogs written by insects
Creative subversion
Slippery questions
Index of blog contents
Strange news; strange times
Spirituality websites worth watching
Epiphany
It happened at a Tesco supermarket in Northumberland.
A supermarket is a market which is super.
For ease of reference, Tesco is the trade name given to certain markets which for cultural reasons are designated in the public mind as supernatural.
Northumberland is a physical plane location in Old Europe.
Two women were standing by the kitchen rolls.
One said to the other: "What are you giving it for supper?"
The other said: "I'm giving it fish. It doesn't like onion mash on Tuesdays."
I said: "It's Saturday today. Why not give it engine oil?"
The two women looked at me.
One of them said to the other: "Funny people you get in here, Doris."
For me, this was an epiphany.
For them, it was just another day out.
Olive restaurant in Bromley
Index of blog contents
Strange news; strange times
Spirituality websites worth watching
A supermarket is a market which is super.
For ease of reference, Tesco is the trade name given to certain markets which for cultural reasons are designated in the public mind as supernatural.
Northumberland is a physical plane location in Old Europe.
Two women were standing by the kitchen rolls.
One said to the other: "What are you giving it for supper?"
The other said: "I'm giving it fish. It doesn't like onion mash on Tuesdays."
I said: "It's Saturday today. Why not give it engine oil?"
The two women looked at me.
One of them said to the other: "Funny people you get in here, Doris."
For me, this was an epiphany.
For them, it was just another day out.
Olive restaurant in Bromley
Index of blog contents
Strange news; strange times
Spirituality websites worth watching
Monday, December 20, 2004
Elvis in Bedfordshire
A transsexual
Elvis impersonator
Is seen in Bedfordshire.
She has five loose,
Sugar-free mints
In her backpack.
A passer-by
Comments on this.
The Elvis impersonator
Takes no notice.
She is
A very secure person.
Heavy steel chains
Fasten her hands
And her feet
To a lamp-post.
Christmas metanarrative
Underpants
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Elvis impersonator
Is seen in Bedfordshire.
She has five loose,
Sugar-free mints
In her backpack.
A passer-by
Comments on this.
The Elvis impersonator
Takes no notice.
She is
A very secure person.
Heavy steel chains
Fasten her hands
And her feet
To a lamp-post.
Christmas metanarrative
Underpants
More Norfolk koans
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Fundamentalists' Fellowship
Page update: 25.06.07
Serious students of the divine mysteries might consider becoming members of The Virtual Church of the Blind Chihuahua.
According to the local elders, this sacred place in cyberspace is named after a little old dog with cataracts, who barked sideways at strangers, because he couldn't see where they were. They suggest that we humans relate to God in the same way, making noise in God's general direction, and expecting a reward for doing so.
The Virtual Church of the Blind Chihuahua has a creed: "We can't be right about everything we believe. Thank God, we don't have to be! In other words, there is more to ethical monotheism than pleasing your imaginary friend."
On the church website, there is an essay by J.A.H.Futterman (1996) entitled: "Canned Theology - Junk Food for the Soul." In this he describes four conservative flavours of theology:
(1) God is just waiting to get you the minute you screw up. This is taken by many practitioners of the Abrahamic religions — Judaism, Christianity, and Islam — as the basis for moral behaviour. Since externally imposed order is repugnant even to those who believe in it, they occasionally rebel against such order, either openly, or by wilfully misinterpreting the commandments, as in: "Thou shalt not kill, except for that heretic over there."
(2) Christ died for your sins, so now you'd really better not screw up. This is the distinctively Christian form of the item above. God in the form of the God-Man, Jesus, allows himself to be murdered by bad people so he can come back from dead and say, "See, I died for you. Now you really owe me bigtime, so you better shape up!" In Games People Play, Eric Berne called this game, "Now I've Got You, You Son-of-a-Bitch!"
(3) You must build the Kingdom of God on earth by making it impossible for anyone else to screw up. When people are full of this one, they try to control the behaviour of people whose beliefs differ from theirs. Used in repressive legislation. Also a prime ingredient in recipes for religious and ethnic conflict. Used as a condiment in some liberal environmental agendas.
(4) You must purify God's Kingdom on earth by killing those who do screw up. This flavour is consumed by those who have no taste for mercy. Typically, when they partake of this one, they screw up bigtime.
The Virtual Church of the Blind Chihuahua can be found online here.
And The Church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster can be visited here.
...........................................................
How silly is salvation?
Repent, the Kingdom of God is at hand!
What is the answer?
The unwisdom of belief
Fundamentalism is a closed room
Yoghurt shelves
Serious students of the divine mysteries might consider becoming members of The Virtual Church of the Blind Chihuahua.
According to the local elders, this sacred place in cyberspace is named after a little old dog with cataracts, who barked sideways at strangers, because he couldn't see where they were. They suggest that we humans relate to God in the same way, making noise in God's general direction, and expecting a reward for doing so.
The Virtual Church of the Blind Chihuahua has a creed: "We can't be right about everything we believe. Thank God, we don't have to be! In other words, there is more to ethical monotheism than pleasing your imaginary friend."
On the church website, there is an essay by J.A.H.Futterman (1996) entitled: "Canned Theology - Junk Food for the Soul." In this he describes four conservative flavours of theology:
(1) God is just waiting to get you the minute you screw up. This is taken by many practitioners of the Abrahamic religions — Judaism, Christianity, and Islam — as the basis for moral behaviour. Since externally imposed order is repugnant even to those who believe in it, they occasionally rebel against such order, either openly, or by wilfully misinterpreting the commandments, as in: "Thou shalt not kill, except for that heretic over there."
(2) Christ died for your sins, so now you'd really better not screw up. This is the distinctively Christian form of the item above. God in the form of the God-Man, Jesus, allows himself to be murdered by bad people so he can come back from dead and say, "See, I died for you. Now you really owe me bigtime, so you better shape up!" In Games People Play, Eric Berne called this game, "Now I've Got You, You Son-of-a-Bitch!"
(3) You must build the Kingdom of God on earth by making it impossible for anyone else to screw up. When people are full of this one, they try to control the behaviour of people whose beliefs differ from theirs. Used in repressive legislation. Also a prime ingredient in recipes for religious and ethnic conflict. Used as a condiment in some liberal environmental agendas.
(4) You must purify God's Kingdom on earth by killing those who do screw up. This flavour is consumed by those who have no taste for mercy. Typically, when they partake of this one, they screw up bigtime.
The Virtual Church of the Blind Chihuahua can be found online here.
And The Church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster can be visited here.
...........................................................
How silly is salvation?
Repent, the Kingdom of God is at hand!
What is the answer?
The unwisdom of belief
Fundamentalism is a closed room
Yoghurt shelves
Saturday, December 18, 2004
The consciousness of the angels
Alcuin Bramerton profile ..... Index of blog contents ..... Home
Page update: 02.03.09
"The attitude of the angels towards God differs radically from that of man."
"They do not conceive the existence of a central personalised individual consciousness, but rather of a universally diffused life-force or energy, an intelligent power which pervades the whole system, forms and ensouls every atom, and fills all space between forms, whether of atom, planet, or of sun."
"Though they recognise this power as an all-pervasive immanence, they also know themselves to be a part of it, to be its embodiment, and know no other will or intelligence than that by which its activities are guided."
"The predominating characteristic of their consciousness is a realisation of unity with each other and with that central source; selfishness, separateness, desire, sense of possession, anger, fear, rebellion or bitterness are impossible to them, because knowledge of the unity of all life forms the background of their existence."
"They are living embodiments of unity, and display to perfection, each at his level, all the qualities of character which naturally harmonise with and result from its realisation."
"All angels are instinctively loving, though their love is far more impersonal than is human love; they see in the object of affection not a desirable form or an attractive personal character, but another embodiment of the same life-force which inspires them."
"Recognising a mutual source of life and a similarity of purpose, they pour forth towards the object of their affection an impersonal love combined with reverence and a certain spiritual recognition of identity of essence."
"In the life of the angels there is nothing which corresponds to the bodily affection which men display. They show their love for each other, for men and for Nature by vivid flashes of colour, by an extension and mingling of auras and by a close mental identification with all the hopes, dreams, capacities, qualities of character and fundamental purposes of the beloved."
The above words, written by an angel, are found at the beginning of Chapter 1 of "The Angelic Hosts" by Geoffrey Hodson. Happily, this book can now be read, in its entirety, online here.
Hodson's book, mystical in nature and permeated with signifiers of high strangeness, was one of the early foundation texts of the New Spirituality.
Less demanding, shorter, and closer to routine human intellection is another essay about angels by the same author. It is "Angels and the New Race" by Geoffrey Hodson. The full text of this work can also be found online here.
Hodson makes his intention clear at the beginning: "The idea that I wish to expound in this booklet is that cooperation between angelic beings and men will play an important part in the development of the new race which is now appearing in the world...."
These words were written nearly a hundred years ago. The angels have now arrived. They are working among us once more. Many take the form of children. Some are the invisible friends of children. All are young at heart.
"The attitude of the angels towards God differs radically from that of man."
"They do not conceive the existence of a central personalised individual consciousness, but rather of a universally diffused life-force or energy, an intelligent power which pervades the whole system, forms and ensouls every atom, and fills all space between forms, whether of atom, planet, or of sun."
"Though they recognise this power as an all-pervasive immanence, they also know themselves to be a part of it, to be its embodiment, and know no other will or intelligence than that by which its activities are guided."
"The predominating characteristic of their consciousness is a realisation of unity with each other and with that central source; selfishness, separateness, desire, sense of possession, anger, fear, rebellion or bitterness are impossible to them, because knowledge of the unity of all life forms the background of their existence."
"They are living embodiments of unity, and display to perfection, each at his level, all the qualities of character which naturally harmonise with and result from its realisation."
"All angels are instinctively loving, though their love is far more impersonal than is human love; they see in the object of affection not a desirable form or an attractive personal character, but another embodiment of the same life-force which inspires them."
"Recognising a mutual source of life and a similarity of purpose, they pour forth towards the object of their affection an impersonal love combined with reverence and a certain spiritual recognition of identity of essence."
"In the life of the angels there is nothing which corresponds to the bodily affection which men display. They show their love for each other, for men and for Nature by vivid flashes of colour, by an extension and mingling of auras and by a close mental identification with all the hopes, dreams, capacities, qualities of character and fundamental purposes of the beloved."
The above words, written by an angel, are found at the beginning of Chapter 1 of "The Angelic Hosts" by Geoffrey Hodson. Happily, this book can now be read, in its entirety, online here.
Hodson's book, mystical in nature and permeated with signifiers of high strangeness, was one of the early foundation texts of the New Spirituality.
Less demanding, shorter, and closer to routine human intellection is another essay about angels by the same author. It is "Angels and the New Race" by Geoffrey Hodson. The full text of this work can also be found online here.
Hodson makes his intention clear at the beginning: "The idea that I wish to expound in this booklet is that cooperation between angelic beings and men will play an important part in the development of the new race which is now appearing in the world...."
These words were written nearly a hundred years ago. The angels have now arrived. They are working among us once more. Many take the form of children. Some are the invisible friends of children. All are young at heart.
In England (UK) in the late 1990s, a British Theology student called Emma Heathcote, researching angel encounters, found that they were reported by both religious people and atheists. According to respondents' data, only about 26 per cent of angel encounters seemed to involve traditional-looking light-beings with wings, such as those illustrated here, here, here, here and here. An interview with Emma Heathcote was published in the July/August 1999 issue of Share International Magazine and can be found here.
A year or two later, in 2001, Emma Heathcote-James, as she is now known, published a well-received book entitled "Seeing Angels". This and other contemporary books about angels were discussed by John Naish in The Times (London) on the 30th April 2005. His piece entitled "A wing and a prayer" can be found here.
..........................................
Some more angel images:
>> "Knowing Angel" - artist unidentified
>> "Angel of Cheer" by Nancy Noel
>> "Guardian Angel" by Domen Lombergar
>> "Blood Angel" by Chris McGrath
>> "Planetary Angels" by Arthur Douët
Police photograph of angel?
The car was completely written off in this crash, but the occupants walked away unharmed. This and other curios can be viewed at the Psychic Wonders Gallery here.
......................................
Pumpkin candlelight
What are angels made of?
Our angels the aliens
Introducing an angel based in Europe
Strange news; strange times
The central question of the universe
What is the population of the universe?
Index of blog contents
Spirituality websites worth watching
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Da Vinci's Magdalene
http://alcuinbramerton.blogspot.com/2004/12/da-vincis-magdalene.html
Alcuin Bramerton Twitter
Alcuin Bramerton profile ..... Index of blog contents ..... Home
Alcuin Bramerton Twitter
Alcuin Bramerton profile ..... Index of blog contents ..... Home
Page update: 15.04.10
The international success of Dan Brown's popular novel "The Da Vinci Code" (2003) and the film version of the book (2006) has once more stimulated informed discussion about the nature of the relationship between Jesus of Nazareth and Mary Magdalene.
Influential elements within the early church gave Mary Magdalene the title "Apostle to the Apostles." The view is emerging that Mary has a better claim to be considered the founder of the Church than St Peter or St Paul.
In 2003, the Irish artist, Emer O’Boyle, produced a painting depicting Mary Magdalene preaching to the Apostles. That picture can be seen here. And in 2005, Christina Miller painted an image entitled: "Yeshua and Magdalena a Week Before Passover." That painting can be seen here.
But how intimate might Jesus and Mary Magdalene have been?
In his book "Born of a Woman" (1992), Bishop John Spong noted that negativity towards the idea that Jesus may have been married to Mary Magdalene seems increasingly strange in our age.
Lynn Picknett addresses this issue in "Mary Magdalene - Christianity's Hidden Goddess"; Constable and Robinson (2003); ISBN 1841-1984-47. This is what the Spring 2004 edition of the "The Watkins Review" said about her book:
"The Gnostic Gospels reveal that for the early Church, Mary Magdalene was second in importance only to Jesus. Mary and Jesus were lovers and spiritual partners, and she may even have borne him a child. She may or may not have been a Jewish woman, but could have come from Ethiopia."
"Picknett re-evaluates the evidence from the Gospels, the contemporary Gnostic works, and ancient Egyptian texts, seeking Christianity's hidden goddess in fields as diverse as the art of Leonardo da Vinci and the statues of Black Madonnas."
"Picknett believes that virtually everything the Church teaches about Mary is a deliberate attempt to cover up uncomfortable facts; that it is time to see the real woman and to reassess the history of Christianity."
But there is plenty of other accessible stuff on the web about all this. For example there are useful introductory essays by Tau Malachi and Lesa Bellevie.
Tau Malachi observes that "nowhere in the New Testament does it state that Jesus was celibate. As a matter of fact, in Judaism an unmarried man is considered incomplete. Typically, all Jewish holy men – teachers and prophets alike – were married. It would have been highly unusual for a recognized rabbi (teacher) to be single. Originally, Christianity was a Jewish spiritual movement, and Jesus taught Jewish individuals primarily. Bearing that in mind, it would have been easier for students to accept that Jesus was married than to accept a rabbi unwilling or unable to sustain a marriage. This is quite the opposite of the unnatural view we have been led to believe – that the union of Jesus with a wife and consort would somehow diminish his spiritual status. The truth is that it would have exalted him all the more, and this is precisely the Sophian view."
And Lesa Bellevie quotes from The Gospel of Philip: "There were three who always walked with the Lord: Mary, his mother, and her sister, and Magdalene, the one who was called his companion. His sister and his mother and his companion were each a Mary." Bellevie comments: "The word 'companion' has often been interpreted to mean 'consort,' which implies a very different sort of relationship between Mary Magdalene and Jesus."
Orthodox sceptics might find solace from these ideas in Birger Pearson's capable survey of recent Magdalene enthusiasms here.
Excerpts from "The Gospel of Mary" in a Coptic papyrus can be found here.
The same fragmentary text of "The Gospel According to Mary Magdalene" with archive notes can be read here.
And The Reluctant Messenger has a small piece entitled a "Syncretic View of the Gospel of Mary Magdalene" here.
In recent years, Mary Magdalene’s own words about her relationship with Jesus have been brought to light. For example, in one place she states: “The Gospels recount me as a prostitute, for all Initiates of my order wore a gold arm bracelet that was a serpent; and it was understood that we practiced sexual magic; and in the eyes of the Hebrews we were whores.”
“When I saw Yeshua (Jesus) and our eyes met, I understood that we had been destined for each other. What I am about to tell you has not been known, except by those who were with me. Many legends abound as to what happened. But for me it is a story of deepest love. That Yeshua had a vision of the world does not touch me. My story is a love story.”
“Many people followed Yeshua. And the opportunities for us to be alone together were very few. It is not written in the Gospels for no-one knew, only the closest to us. Before Yeshua went to the Garden of Gethsemane, we conceived a child, and her name was Sarah.”
I quote from pages 17-18 of “The Magdalene Manuscript” by Tom Kenyon and Judi Sion (2002); ORB Communications; ISBN 1-931032-05-X.
The publisher’s blurb for this book can be found at Tom Kenyon’s website here.
One of the interesting issues arising from the success of The Da Vinci Code is simply accounting rationally for its success. Why should a self-confessed fiction of this kind be so widely noticed and so widely railed against? Similar questions have been asked about the Harry Potter novels.
Perhaps it is because the core energy of these books connects with what a lot of people intuit to be veridical. Or to dip into the overworked vocabulary of churchianity, perhaps it is because "The Holy Spirit" is bringing certain of the central ideas in these books to wider attention.
It has been suggested that The Da Vinci Code cannot be taken seriously, first because it is fiction, and second because it is historically inaccurate at a number of important points. But the Bible has far more fiction in it, and far more historical inaccuracy than The Da Vinci Code, and those things have not stopped it from being successful.
The uncomfortable reality for both modern Western liberals and modern Western fundamentalists seems to be that certain texts very obviously have the force with them, and certain other texts very obviously do not. And, frankly, we haven't a clue why.
.....................................................
Scholarly Smackdown: Were Mary Magdalene and Jesus Married?
A debate on Beliefnet (May 2006). Bart Ehrman says there is no evidence. Barbara Thiering disagrees, arguing that John's Gospel and a Gnostic text offer clues to a marriage.
Mary Magdalene's Secret
Extracts from Margaret Starbird's book "The Woman with the Alabaster Jar" (1993).
God's Wisdom
What we're talking about when we talk about the feminine divine in Christianity - an article by Rosemary Radford Ruether on Beliefnet.
The great Da Vinci Code distraction
Article by Geza Vermes, Professor Emeritus of Jewish Studies at Oxford University - Times (London) 06.05.06
The code breakers
Martyn Palmer discusses Ron Howard's 2006 film of The Da Vinci Code - Times (London) - 06.05.06
Catholics form Da Vinci film team
British Roman Catholic leaders are afraid of the influence of The Da Vinci Code film. They have set up the Da Vinci Code Response Group - BBC News (London) - 06.05.06
Why the world is chasing its Grail
Article about The Da Vinci Code book and film by Peter Conrad, English lecturer at Christ Church, Oxford University - The Observer (London) - 07.05.06
Thrills, fun but no masterpiece
James Christopher's review of the 2006 Da Vinci Code film in The Times (London) - 17.05.06
Dan Brown has resurrected a heresy that rattles the Church
Article by Boris Johnson in The Daily Telegraph (London) - 18.05.06
The Da Vinci Code - a true phenomenon or a load of codswallop?
Philip French's review of the 2006 Da Vinci Code film in The Observer (London) - 21.05.06
The secret's out - The Da Vinci Code is dull, verbose - and yes, worse than the book
Cosmo Landesman's review of the 2006 Da Vinci Code film in The Sunday Times (London) - 21.05.06
Same suspense, same success, same errors
Review of the 2006 Da Vinci Code film by The Rev Dr David Hilborn, Head of Theology at the Evangelical Alliance
Who cares what the reviews say?
Mark Lawson considers why the Da Vinci Code film-goers are taking no notice of the critics - The Guardian (London) 24.05.06
The international success of Dan Brown's popular novel "The Da Vinci Code" (2003) and the film version of the book (2006) has once more stimulated informed discussion about the nature of the relationship between Jesus of Nazareth and Mary Magdalene.
Influential elements within the early church gave Mary Magdalene the title "Apostle to the Apostles." The view is emerging that Mary has a better claim to be considered the founder of the Church than St Peter or St Paul.
In 2003, the Irish artist, Emer O’Boyle, produced a painting depicting Mary Magdalene preaching to the Apostles. That picture can be seen here. And in 2005, Christina Miller painted an image entitled: "Yeshua and Magdalena a Week Before Passover." That painting can be seen here.
But how intimate might Jesus and Mary Magdalene have been?
In his book "Born of a Woman" (1992), Bishop John Spong noted that negativity towards the idea that Jesus may have been married to Mary Magdalene seems increasingly strange in our age.
Lynn Picknett addresses this issue in "Mary Magdalene - Christianity's Hidden Goddess"; Constable and Robinson (2003); ISBN 1841-1984-47. This is what the Spring 2004 edition of the "The Watkins Review" said about her book:
"The Gnostic Gospels reveal that for the early Church, Mary Magdalene was second in importance only to Jesus. Mary and Jesus were lovers and spiritual partners, and she may even have borne him a child. She may or may not have been a Jewish woman, but could have come from Ethiopia."
"Picknett re-evaluates the evidence from the Gospels, the contemporary Gnostic works, and ancient Egyptian texts, seeking Christianity's hidden goddess in fields as diverse as the art of Leonardo da Vinci and the statues of Black Madonnas."
"Picknett believes that virtually everything the Church teaches about Mary is a deliberate attempt to cover up uncomfortable facts; that it is time to see the real woman and to reassess the history of Christianity."
But there is plenty of other accessible stuff on the web about all this. For example there are useful introductory essays by Tau Malachi and Lesa Bellevie.
Tau Malachi observes that "nowhere in the New Testament does it state that Jesus was celibate. As a matter of fact, in Judaism an unmarried man is considered incomplete. Typically, all Jewish holy men – teachers and prophets alike – were married. It would have been highly unusual for a recognized rabbi (teacher) to be single. Originally, Christianity was a Jewish spiritual movement, and Jesus taught Jewish individuals primarily. Bearing that in mind, it would have been easier for students to accept that Jesus was married than to accept a rabbi unwilling or unable to sustain a marriage. This is quite the opposite of the unnatural view we have been led to believe – that the union of Jesus with a wife and consort would somehow diminish his spiritual status. The truth is that it would have exalted him all the more, and this is precisely the Sophian view."
And Lesa Bellevie quotes from The Gospel of Philip: "There were three who always walked with the Lord: Mary, his mother, and her sister, and Magdalene, the one who was called his companion. His sister and his mother and his companion were each a Mary." Bellevie comments: "The word 'companion' has often been interpreted to mean 'consort,' which implies a very different sort of relationship between Mary Magdalene and Jesus."
Orthodox sceptics might find solace from these ideas in Birger Pearson's capable survey of recent Magdalene enthusiasms here.
Excerpts from "The Gospel of Mary" in a Coptic papyrus can be found here.
The same fragmentary text of "The Gospel According to Mary Magdalene" with archive notes can be read here.
And The Reluctant Messenger has a small piece entitled a "Syncretic View of the Gospel of Mary Magdalene" here.
In recent years, Mary Magdalene’s own words about her relationship with Jesus have been brought to light. For example, in one place she states: “The Gospels recount me as a prostitute, for all Initiates of my order wore a gold arm bracelet that was a serpent; and it was understood that we practiced sexual magic; and in the eyes of the Hebrews we were whores.”
“When I saw Yeshua (Jesus) and our eyes met, I understood that we had been destined for each other. What I am about to tell you has not been known, except by those who were with me. Many legends abound as to what happened. But for me it is a story of deepest love. That Yeshua had a vision of the world does not touch me. My story is a love story.”
“Many people followed Yeshua. And the opportunities for us to be alone together were very few. It is not written in the Gospels for no-one knew, only the closest to us. Before Yeshua went to the Garden of Gethsemane, we conceived a child, and her name was Sarah.”
I quote from pages 17-18 of “The Magdalene Manuscript” by Tom Kenyon and Judi Sion (2002); ORB Communications; ISBN 1-931032-05-X.
The publisher’s blurb for this book can be found at Tom Kenyon’s website here.
One of the interesting issues arising from the success of The Da Vinci Code is simply accounting rationally for its success. Why should a self-confessed fiction of this kind be so widely noticed and so widely railed against? Similar questions have been asked about the Harry Potter novels.
Perhaps it is because the core energy of these books connects with what a lot of people intuit to be veridical. Or to dip into the overworked vocabulary of churchianity, perhaps it is because "The Holy Spirit" is bringing certain of the central ideas in these books to wider attention.
It has been suggested that The Da Vinci Code cannot be taken seriously, first because it is fiction, and second because it is historically inaccurate at a number of important points. But the Bible has far more fiction in it, and far more historical inaccuracy than The Da Vinci Code, and those things have not stopped it from being successful.
The uncomfortable reality for both modern Western liberals and modern Western fundamentalists seems to be that certain texts very obviously have the force with them, and certain other texts very obviously do not. And, frankly, we haven't a clue why.
.....................................................
Scholarly Smackdown: Were Mary Magdalene and Jesus Married?
A debate on Beliefnet (May 2006). Bart Ehrman says there is no evidence. Barbara Thiering disagrees, arguing that John's Gospel and a Gnostic text offer clues to a marriage.
Mary Magdalene's Secret
Extracts from Margaret Starbird's book "The Woman with the Alabaster Jar" (1993).
God's Wisdom
What we're talking about when we talk about the feminine divine in Christianity - an article by Rosemary Radford Ruether on Beliefnet.
The great Da Vinci Code distraction
Article by Geza Vermes, Professor Emeritus of Jewish Studies at Oxford University - Times (London) 06.05.06
The code breakers
Martyn Palmer discusses Ron Howard's 2006 film of The Da Vinci Code - Times (London) - 06.05.06
Catholics form Da Vinci film team
British Roman Catholic leaders are afraid of the influence of The Da Vinci Code film. They have set up the Da Vinci Code Response Group - BBC News (London) - 06.05.06
Why the world is chasing its Grail
Article about The Da Vinci Code book and film by Peter Conrad, English lecturer at Christ Church, Oxford University - The Observer (London) - 07.05.06
Thrills, fun but no masterpiece
James Christopher's review of the 2006 Da Vinci Code film in The Times (London) - 17.05.06
Dan Brown has resurrected a heresy that rattles the Church
Article by Boris Johnson in The Daily Telegraph (London) - 18.05.06
The Da Vinci Code - a true phenomenon or a load of codswallop?
Philip French's review of the 2006 Da Vinci Code film in The Observer (London) - 21.05.06
The secret's out - The Da Vinci Code is dull, verbose - and yes, worse than the book
Cosmo Landesman's review of the 2006 Da Vinci Code film in The Sunday Times (London) - 21.05.06
Same suspense, same success, same errors
Review of the 2006 Da Vinci Code film by The Rev Dr David Hilborn, Head of Theology at the Evangelical Alliance
Who cares what the reviews say?
Mark Lawson considers why the Da Vinci Code film-goers are taking no notice of the critics - The Guardian (London) 24.05.06
Opus Dei murder
Secretive Opus Dei honours banker who was cut up with a chainsaw - Sunday Times (London) 23.07.06
The saint and his virgin
Sacred sexuality in early Christianity and the inner teachings of Jesus - an article by Walter Last
The Order of Mary Magdala
This is the website of a modern esoteric Christian order which studies the teachings, mystical techniques, meditations and prayers of Yeshua and Mary Magdalene. The site includes a Magdalene images gallery here. And there is a useful essay entitled "Temple Prostitutes and Temple Virgins. Were they Temple Priestesses?" here.
...........................................
Unusual cloud-form over Launceston
How important is Jesus?
Jesus said: "I am Evolution"
Jesus said: "You must be reincarnated"
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