Emergency chocolate cake pictures

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Picture: Thin woman ready for chocolate cake


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We offer the following pastoral support for desperate modern women:

Chocolate cake picture 1

Chocolate cake picture 2

Chocolate cake picture 3

Chocolate cake picture 4

Chocolate cake picture 5

Chocolate cake picture 6

Chocolate cake picture 7

Chocolate cake picture 8

Chocolate cake picture 9

Chocolate cake picture 10



An advanced spiritual exercise for Tantric Chocopractors is offered below

(1) Dress sensibly in edible, chocolate-coloured ceremonial vestments worn over a crotchless praline undergarment.


(2) Light seven chocolate-coloured candles.


(3) Burn a little chocolate-flavoured incense.


(4) Centre yourself with sincere chocopractic intention.


(5) On a big screen, view each of the ten chocolate cake photographs listed above, slowly and in the order given.


(6) As each chocolate cake comes into view, admire its plump, Rubinesque chocolateness without judgment. Notice its extravagant, gustatory potential, its uncoded promise of instant gratification, its desire to give itself to you completely, deliciously and without delay or qualification. (Note: Do not worship the chocolate cake; simply respect it as a cosmic colleague, equal to you but subtly different.)


(7) Breathe deeply in and out seven times. Rejoice in the fact that you are a Woman and that Chocolate is the Destiny of Woman.


(8) Press the tip of your tongue against the C-spot in the roof of your mouth and inhale the unconditional chocolateness of the universe.


(9) Notice how your heart is melting like chocolate. Thank the chocolate for its gift of abundant liquidity. Merge with the chocolate and go wherever it takes you.


(10) Recall how your shamanic forebears rehearsed this ritual millennia ago under starbright skies at full moon. Recall their thrill at the coming of chocolate, centuries before chocolate was invented by Bobina the Bilder of Baden-Baden during the Black Forest High Renaissance.


(11) Visualise yourself as a helpless, defenceless tastebud besieged by chocolate cake. Surrender to the invader without fear.


(12) As your consciousness merges with the quintessential chocolateness of all being, journey into sacred space, release your inner child, and offer your inner child a Cadbury's Creme Egg.


(13) Eat nothing yourself. Be strong. Be deeply and transcendentally content. Vote Democrat. Experience no guilt.



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More Norfolk koans

Living through the pole shift and the global end-time tsunami

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Sympathetic help for unacceptably fat women

This blog has long supported the plight of obese persons of the female gender living in Germany and America.

Some of these women are the victims of passive fatness. On the bus to work they watch other women scoffing chocolate bars and cream cakes, they inhale too deeply, and before they know where they are they find themselves wolfing down unwanted chocolate bars and cream cakes themselves.

But other women are gratuitous, wanton, self-inflicted fatties. They have adopted a militant, fattist, anti-man lifestyle. They luxuriate in the epithet "fat slag". They meet at secret, single-sex cholesterol parties solely with the intention of achieving an adipose high.

They patronise dress shops which use curtain material and stage hangings for ball gowns. They indulge in deep Rabelaisian laughter which makes them wobble all over.

They walk around with pink wheelbarrows supporting their bellies. They emit a pungent odour of whale grease and burnt tires.

Persons of this second kind cannot be tolerated by a civilised and caring society. We urge the United Nations and the World Health Organisation to take preventive action.

We do not advocate the mass culling of female fatties as some are doing, but it is important that a fair and transparent international flab tax be levied on those of female gender whose expanded dimensions have become an eyesore to people of sensitivity and discrimination.

This blog has never ducked the issue of female size. We have always addressed the matter in a focussed and scientific manner. Some examples of our research are linked below.

Eating disorder

Lose weight feel great
Seven toffee doughnuts
Strong decision
Blue mouthwash
Lent in the open ocean

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More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Fat slag spirituality

The central question of the universe

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Seven toffee doughnuts

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Lose weight feel great

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Eating disorder

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Strong decision

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Blue mouthwash

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Novel in Burnley

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Platonic relationship

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Lent in the open ocean

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Emergency chocolate cake pictures

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Sympathetic help for unacceptably fat women

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Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Strong decision

She catches her reflection
In a shop window.
It is true.
She has a beer belly.

She looks again.
It protrudes tightly,
Like beer bellies protrude tightly.
And it wobbles,
Like beer bellies wobble.

There is no doubt about it.
That women in the reflection
Has got a definite beer belly.
Fat cow.

She considers going
To a shady Harley Street
Cosmetic surgeon,
With no qualifications,
But plenty of scalpels,
And a voracious bank balance,
And having her abdomen removed,
And replaced with a sleek,
Plastic alternative.

Or she could go to the gym
And bounce about like a porpoise
In a leotard
And be smiled at knowingly
By younger women
With bodies like snakes.

Or she could go home
And have three thick slices
Of baked beans on buttered toast,
Followed by
A tub of health-promoting
Mango ice cream
With custard
And chocolate sauce.

She takes the strong decision
And goes home
To wobble in private.



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Eating disorder

Lose weight feel great

Slinky ClubGirl goes out on the town

Above Winchester

More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

American Dream

The burger bar
Is full of fat
People,
With fat
Food-filled faces,
And fat
Food-filled figures,
Filling up
With more
Fat, food-filled food.

The burger bar is bloated
With superfluous consumption.

If this is the American Dream,
What is the American Nightmare?



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Lost nation

More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching