Search Alcuin and Flutterby

Search the Alcuin and Flutterby blog
search engine by freefind

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Another woman

It is just after dawn
On a cold,
Grey, rainy day.

She draws the curtains
And looks out
Of her bedroom window
Across the gardens.

Another woman
In another house
Is looking out
Of her bedroom window
Across the gardens
Towards her.

This is intolerable.

How dare this woman

Her sovereign
Early morning air space
In such an aggressive
And vulgar manner?

This is exactly
The kind of thing
One has to put up with
Under New Labour.

No wonder
Council taxes are so high.

Women's issues

Unlike the others

The good modern husband

More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Wednesday, March 30, 2005


They couldn't get the quality of person
They were looking for
To be their Chief Executive.
So they engaged a firm of headhunters
Called Machete Management.

"What is your person-specification?"
They were asked.

"The person we seek will be
Male, ambitious,
Unafraid of ICT,
A team player,
Good at networking,
Of unimpeachable moral probity,
Of swarthy complexion,
Able to demonstrate
A successful track record
In illicit arms dealing,
And a history of good standing
In the Muslim community."

Machete Management
Conducted an exhaustive search
Of their much-admired
International database.

One week later,
They reported back.
"No such person exists
In the known world," they said.
"But we have found
A alternative candidate
You may be interested in."

"She is a Great White Shark
Of Hindu persuasion,
Brought up in an aquarium
In Northern Ireland,
Who likes pork and apple soup,
Takes bird-watching holidays
In the mountains of Kashmir,
And has never been involved
In any kind of business
Other than prostitution."

"An additional recommendation
Is that she has a profound allergy
To new technology,
And is modest and retiring by nature."

"How soon can she start?"
Machete Management were asked.
"She can start
As soon as she gets back
From Guantanamo Bay,"

They were advised.

Lost nation

Ontological real deal

More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Strong decision

She catches her reflection
In a shop window.
It is true.
She has a beer belly.

She looks again.
It protrudes tightly,
Like beer bellies protrude tightly.
And it wobbles,
Like beer bellies wobble.

There is no doubt about it.
That women in the reflection
Has got a definite beer belly.
Fat cow.

She considers going
To a shady Harley Street
Cosmetic surgeon,
With no qualifications,
But plenty of scalpels,
And a voracious bank balance,
And having her abdomen removed,
And replaced with a sleek,
Plastic alternative.

Or she could go to the gym
And bounce about like a porpoise
In a leotard
And be smiled at knowingly
By younger women
With bodies like snakes.

Or she could go home
And have three thick slices
Of baked beans on buttered toast,
Followed by
A tub of health-promoting
Mango ice cream
With custard
And chocolate sauce.

She takes the strong decision
And goes home

To wobble in private.


Eating disorder

Lose weight feel great

Slinky ClubGirl goes out on the town

Above Winchester

More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Sunday, March 27, 2005

The unwisdom of belief

Page update: 24.10.09

Flutterby: You've been getting emails, I see.
Alcuin: Yes. People have been finding the address at the bottom of the contents page.
Flutterby: I warned you about that.
Alcuin: I know.
Flutterby: Anyway ....
Alcuin: Yes. There's a chap here who wants to know what I believe.
Flutterby: What has that got to do with him?
Alcuin: Come on. I'm not going to say that, am I?
Flutterby: You don't have to reply.
Alcuin: Maybe not.
Flutterby: No.
Alcuin: But belief is a problem.
Flutterby: I disagree.
Alcuin: You don't think that belief is a problem?
Flutterby: No. I think that belief is the problem.
Alcuin: Right.
Flutterby: On your planet, at the moment, belief is the major problem. If there wasn't so much belief, there wouldn't be so much conflict.
Alcuin: Yes. Kevin believes in that kind and style of God; Rachel does not believe in that kind and style of God. So their belief separates them from each other.
Flutterby: And the next level up?
Alcuin: The next level up from that is .... that belief throughout the world is organised into tribes of Kevins and Rachels. These tribes are called Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, or whatever. So belief divides human from human, and tribe from tribe.
Flutterby: Yes. Each tribe is confused, and it thinks that by adopting belief, the confusion will be cleared away. But belief is merely an attempt to escape from the fact of confusion. Belief is an attempt to swap confusion for certainty.

Alcuin: OK. So it's not good for the human mind to be tethered to beliefs. If your mind is tethered to beliefs, you can't think straight.
Flutterby: If your mind is tethered to beliefs, you can hardly think at all.
Alcuin: You can't stay alert.
Flutterby: No.
Alcuin: You can't know yourself. You can't begin the spiritual path.
Flutterby: No. To know oneself as one really is, requires an extraordinary alertness of mind.
Alcuin: And such an alertness of mind is drugged stupid by belief.
Flutterby: And dogma.
Alcuin: Yes. Dogma is the hierarchical level up from belief.
Flutterby: And religion is the hierarchical level up from dogma.
Alcuin: What is the hierarchical level up from religion?
Flutterby: The hierarchical level up from religion is planetary extinction.
Alcuin: Mmm. Painful.
Flutterby: Religion likes pain.
Alcuin: Oh dear.
Flutterby: Where would religion be without unnecessary pain and the rumour of unnecessary pain?
Alcuin: I know.

Flutterby: To know yourself, there must be the awareness, the alertness of mind in which there is freedom from all beliefs, freedom from all idealisation. This is because beliefs and ideals surround you with an artificial coloured filter, subverting true perception.
Alcuin: You sound like Jiddu Krishnamurti.
Flutterby: Good man, Krishnamurti.
Alcuin: His teachings and Christ's teachings are very similar aren't they?
Flutterby: Krishnamurti's teachings and Christ's early New Age teachings are very nearly identical, I would say.

Alcuin: Do humans need a belief of any kind? Is any sort of belief necessary?
Flutterby: Krishnamurti pointed out that we don't need a belief that there is sunshine or mountains or rivers. We don't need a belief that we and our partners quarrel. We don't have to have a belief that life is a terrible, boring misery, with its anguish, ambition and conflicts. All that is a fact. But we demand a belief when we want to escape from a fact into an unreality.
Alcuin: But that goes for any belief, doesn't it? Not just religious belief?
Flutterby: Oh yes. Religious belief, economic belief, educational belief, medical belief, political belief. The whole lot. Belief is the bogey.
Alcuin: Belief is the boggart ....
Flutterby: Do I detect a coded reference to Harry Potter?
Alcuin: A very inexact reference to Harry Potter.

Flutterby: On your planet at the moment, religious beliefs still subtend a lot of economic, educational, medical and political beliefs ....
Alcuin: Think of America.
Flutterby: I'd rather not.
Alcuin: America was great once.
Flutterby: America will be great again.
Alcuin: But poorer?
Flutterby: Much poorer in material terms .... but much richer, spiritually.

Alcuin: So .... yes .... so what Krishnamurti is suggesting is that one's religion, one's belief in God, is an escape from actuality.
Flutterby: Yes. And a mind which escapes from the actual, from the facts of relationship, will never find God. A mind that is agitated by belief cannot know truth.
Alcuin: Relationship? You used the word "relationship" there. What do you mean? Inter-personal relationship?
Flutterby: Yes. Inter-personal relationship, and inter-faith relationship, and international relationship, and inter-competitor relationship, and inter-generational relationship, and inter-specific relationship, and inter-planetary relationship, and inter-kingdom relationship, and inter-dimensional relationship. The facts of the whole nexus of relationships which is the actuality of God.
Alcuin: Difficult.
Flutterby: Yes.

Alcuin: Back to basics for a moment .... I've got a question.
Flutterby: There's a surprise.
Alcuin: A very simple question.
Flutterby: OK.
Alcuin: What is belief?
Flutterby: What is belief?
Alcuin: Yes.
Flutterby: Belief is corruption.
Alcuin: Why?
Flutterby: Belief is corruption because behind belief and morality lies the mind, the self – the self growing big, powerful and strong. If we let spirituality degenerate into religion, we let spirituality degenerate into belief. And then we are in trouble. We are in trouble because belief acts and has a corresponding influence on the mind; the mind then can never be free.
Alcuin: No.
Flutterby: But it is only in freedom that one can find out what is true, what is God. This can't be done through belief, because your belief projects what you think ought to be God, what you think ought to be true.
Alcuin: Belief projects a fantasy, you mean?
Flutterby: Yes. And employing another metaphor, belief also clutters up the mind; fills it with yesterday's junk and trash. A cup is useful only when it is empty. A mind that is stuffed full with beliefs, with dogmas, with superstitions, with assertions, with quotations and proof-texts, is an uncreative mind. It is a mind which cannot be filled to overflowing with the Holy Spirit.
Alcuin: Not the mind of God, then.
Flutterby: No.
Alcuin: A repetitive mind?
Flutterby: Yes.
Alcuin: A mind which continually parrots yesterday's bad ideas under the guise of certainty-mantrams.
Flutterby: Yes.
Alcuin: Like an endless tape endlessly replaying the same old stuff.
Flutterby: Yes. And endlessly and inevitably deteriorating into noise for noise's sake, as the tape wears out.

Alcuin: So what we're saying here is that belief is not a good thing?
Flutterby: You noticed.
Alcuin: I did.
Flutterby: We're suggesting that belief is a bad thing. But I wouldn't say "good" and I wouldn't say "bad".
Alcuin: What would you say?
Flutterby: Instead of "good," I would say, "tending towards growth and free forward evolution."
Alcuin: Yuk. That wouldn't play well among the Southern Baptists.
Flutterby: And instead of "bad," I would say, "tending towards ossification and stasis."

Alcuin: Hold on, Flutterby. You're promoting obfuscation. And we're not past the nine 'o clock watershed yet.
Flutterby: Anyone who has stayed with us this far, will understand what ossification and stasis mean.
Alcuin: They might be experts.
Flutterby: I don't believe in the existence of experts. If there was such a thing as experts, Planet Earth wouldn't be in such a mess.
Alcuin: I'm staying positive.
Flutterby: Good.

Alcuin: But with regard to belief, it has been said that if you don't believe in something, you are in danger of believing in anything.
Flutterby: Yes. That is a good point. And it needs answering.
Alcuin: I think that to believe in something is to give away one's power to a human cultural invention. This human cultural invention is called a "belief".
Flutterby: Yes. A belief is a cultural artefact, an expedient superstition. It's a lump of stuff propping up the status quo. A belief is an invented chunk of words designed to support a fixed position. It radiates a sort of cold, negative energy which is truth-phobic. The more beliefs you allow to be implanted in your mind, the less truth gets through to you.
Alcuin: So, if you don't believe in something, you are not in danger of believing in anything – you are in danger of receiving a lot of new truth.
Flutterby: Exactly. And that is an important danger to face freely. Without facing it, there can be no spiritual growth.
Alcuin: Not that it's a danger at all....
Flutterby: No, but it may be a challenge.
Alcuin: Or feel a challenge.
Flutterby: Yes.

Alcuin: So, shuffling language around a bit, can we say that a belief is a chosen intellectual construct which has the function of keeping truth out?
Flutterby: Yes. A belief is an instrument of stuckness.
Alcuin: Mmm ....
Flutterby: And if an array of such beliefs is assembled, in a patterned or interlinked manner, as in a catechism or a creed or an atonement theory, and is wilfully held in place in conscious intellection, the mind becomes almost blind. The belief-array functions as a tight filter preventing the entry of new revelations.
Alcuin: That's saying what we hinted at just now.
Flutterby: Correct. You've got a dictionary on the shelf there. What does it say under the word "belief"?
Alcuin: OK, let's see. Right. Here we are: Belief - "a conviction of the truth of something; an opinion or doctrine held to be true."
Flutterby: Yes. So a belief is a thought-form, a construct on the mental plane (the fifth dimension), which carries an exclusive truth-claim energy which functions in the intellection by saying: "I am right; that which is anti-me is wrong".
Alcuin: A belief is a conflict-signifier energised by a right-versus-wrong referent.
Flutterby: I think you've just lost the Southern Baptists again. But I agree. The problem with it, however, is that there is no such thing in the spiritual world as "right" or "wrong". These are simply the control fictions of religiosity. One of the central lies of the religious experiment on your planet has been that a moral stasis is possible. This lie asserts that certain things are eternally right and their polar opposites are eternally wrong; certain things are good and their polar opposites are evil. But in actuality there can be no such dichotomy because there is no stasis in things spiritual. Nothing is static. All is process. All is change. All is movement. All is dance. God's will is Evolution.
Static positions nowhere exist. If we attempt to set up a static position against the prevailing fluency of All That Is – a static position such as a belief - we get ill and we begin to shrivel spiritually into an anxious, undead fear. It is this fear which energises fundamentalist violence.

Alcuin: Got it. OK. So .... in the spiritual mind there can be no legitimate place for belief because the spiritual mind has to be kept free and open at all times to receive new data uncritically. It cannot do this efficiently if it is cluttered up with belief-constructs which function to keep new data out.
Flutterby: No. And there are a lot of new data - new truths - new revelations - coming through now. That is what the New Age of Christ, the Maitreya Buddha,
is all about.
Alcuin: I know. But there are snags, aren't there? There are challenges. This kind of thinking raises a whole cluster of consequential questions. For example, how can I assess what is veridical? If a new idea comes along, how do I make a spiritual value-judgement about it?
Flutterby: Good question.
Alcuin: Got a good answer?
Flutterby: What do you do if a new idea comes along? A new revelation? How do you assess it?
Alcuin: Yes. How do you work out whether it is true or not?
Flutterby: Speaking personally, I would ask: "Is this new idea interesting?" and "Is it beautiful?" and "Does it feel good?" and "Does it keep me free?" If the answer to each of these four questions, considered unhurriedly over a period of time, is yes, then I would be inclined to trust my intuition and regard the new idea as veridical. But only for me, and only for now.


Life The Goal
An essay by Jiddhu Krishnamurti (1895-1986)


Anti-spiritual belief systems of control
Henry See suggests that the monotheistic religions are elite systems of manipulation, negativity and deceit.


My name is God and these are My instructions

Spirituality websites worth watching

Free money
Alcuin Bramerton profile ..... Index of blog contents ..... Home

A man with a well-worn cowboy hat
Has more money than he needs.

He fills his pockets with ten pound notes
And goes out into the street shouting,
"Free money, free money.
Get your free money here."

It is snowing heavily
But a number of people are interested
And an orderly queue forms
By the postbox on the corner.

Not everyone wants ten pounds.
Some people only want five pounds.
So he accepts change.

And, for good measure,
He puts a couple of ten pound notes
Into the postbox,
Just in case the postman
Feels the need for a little free money
While he is working.

A small boy comes along
And says that he doesn't want ten pounds;
He only wants two pounds
For a large bar
Of Fat Munchie's triple chocolate
With a soft almond and praline filling.

He is given a ten pound note,
Goes to the sweetshop,
And brings the man
Eight pounds change
And a piece of his chocolate bar.

The following Saturday,
The man with the well-worn cowboy hat
Wins the national lottery.

But no-one knows.

And he says nothing.


Joined-up thinking

More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Royal visit

Her Majesty the Queen
Is visiting
A National Health
Lunatic Asylum
In Cheam.
She is keen to meet the inmates.

"How long have you been a loony?"
She asks a man in a white coat.

"I am a doctor, Ma'am," he replies,
"I am not, technically, a loony.
"My job is to care for loonies."

"You look like a loony,"
Her Majesty continues,
"One's husband is a loony,
And you look just like him.
Your shirt collar is dirty
And you dribble."

"Perhaps we are all loonies, Ma'am,"
Suggests the doctor.

"One of One's sons
Has got sticky-out ears
Like taxi doors,
And strange tastes
In the bed-chamber.
He is a loony, too."

"Perhaps we are all loonies, Ma'am,"
Suggests the doctor.
"Perhaps the perceived distinctions between
Manifest looniness,
Intermittent looniness
And infrequent,
But apparently significant,
Are merely transient
And subjective
Within a fluid continuum
Of ever-changing,
But arbitrarily selected,
Cultural norms."

"You are a loony,"
says Her Majesty,
"I know the type.
Tell me about your work,
I may be able to help."

Female bishops

More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Joined-up thinking

A man called Bentley
Wants to enrol
In a post-graduate course
In joined-up thinking
At Oxford University.

He goes to a public lavatory
In Berlin
To speak to the academic registrar.
The academic registrar is not there.
The academic registrar

Is in a public lavatory
In Oxford.

"Why do you want to enrol
In a post-graduate course
In joined-up thinking
At Oxford University?"
He is asked.

"Because I am impressed
With the blue colour
Of yellow daffodils
As perceived by Polar Bears
In the Sahara Dessert,"
he replies.

"When you say Sahara Dessert,
Do you mean Sahara Desert?"
"Yes, I mean Kalahari main course,"
he replies,
"With noodles
And pachyderm depth psychology."

"Polar Bears
Are not pachyderms,"
Says the academic registrar.

"Some Polar Bears
May exhibit an internal predisposition
To pachydermatous behaviours
When aroused by joined-up thinking."

"What is your academic background,
Mr Bentley?"
"Zoology, Botany
And Crustacean Flower Arranging."

"Do you have an IQ?"
"I have several IQs"
"Which is your favourite IQ?"
"My favourite IQ is 156.
That is the IQ
Of a Giant Panda
On the crest
Of a whole-body orgasm."

"Your manner of speech is curious,
Mr Bentley."

"May I have an application form?"
"What kind of application form
Would you like?"
"I would like an application form
For post-graduate entry
To the select course
In joined-up thinking
At Oxford University."

"Would you like the application form
To have coloured pictures on it?"
"No. I would like the application form
To have black-and-white pictures on it
Which I can colour-in with wax crayons."

"At Oxford University,
You are allowed a choice
Of a special free gift
To go with your application form,"
Says the academic registrar.

"Thank you.
I would like a bee orchid
To go with my application form."
"Of course."
"Or a vegetable object
That is bee-orchid-like
In its visual characteristics,
Such as a tennis shoe
Or a traction engine."

"You have a fine mind, Mr Bentley."


More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Marriage in trouble

His marriage is in trouble.
He suspects that his wife
Has a hidden agenda.

While she is out,
He searches the house
From top to bottom.

At last he finds it.

The agenda
For the Annual General Meeting
Of the West Chiltern Rugby Club
Is hidden

Under the vacuum cleaner.

Women's issues

Disclaimer in the corporate boxes

More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Sermon abuse

The vicar strides solemnly
Up the pulpit steps
To deliver the twenty seventh sermon
In his series on the
Surprisingly contemporaneous words
Of the Old Testament prophet, Obadiah.

In the back pew on the left,
Mrs Hartley is ready.

She takes a machine pistol
Out of her handbag,
Points the weapon steadily
At the vicar,
And empties the magazine
Into his open mouth.

It is a NADFAS magazine
About late medieval church furnishings,
So the vicar's death is slow and agonising.

The police conduct a detailed investigation
Into the murder,
And send the papers
To the Crown Prosecution Service.

Several people at the Crown Prosecution Service
Die of boredom
As they review the NADFAS papers
On late medieval church furnishings.

In the end,
The Crown Prosecution Service
Takes the view
That it would not be in the public interest
To prosecute Mrs Hartley
For murdering the vicar.

On balance, they say,
The public good has been greatly enhanced
By the removal of a notorious pest.

There is a clear limit
To the amount of the Old Testament prophet,
Which the general public

Can be expected to tolerate.


These days the church

Female bishops

Sunday, March 13, 2005


She puts on some music,
And looks in the mirror.

The music doesn't suit her.
And there is no food in the mirror,
Just glass
And a silvery reflective layer.

She looks at her reflection
Eye to eye.

Who on Earth
Is that person
In the mirror
Looking back?

What does she want?
And why does she stare so intently?


Magic Roundabout pyjamas

More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Ultimate happiness

All he wants is to be happy.
But he feels under-stimulated.
He feels under-stimulated because
He is sitting on a red-hot barbecue.
But there is more to his problem than this.

He feels under-stimulated because
Nothing of spiritual interest
Ever happens in American politics.
Nothing of political interest
Ever happens in American politics, either.
He wishes he had not bothered to vote.
But this is negative thinking.

He turns the barbecue up a notch.
He feels even more under-stimulated.
His under-stimulation is becoming painful.
But whatever else one might say,
His under-stimulation is not boring.

All he wants is to be happy.
But being happy
Is more than not being bored.

His girlfriend asks him why he is sitting on a red-hot barbecue.
This is a difficult question to ask.
It is a difficult question to answer, too.
He pretends not to hear.
And turns the barbecue up another notch.

All he wants is to be happy.
A warm glow arises deep within him.

He is happy now.

More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Friday, March 11, 2005

Inner space

Tummy rumbles,
Skin rashes,
Traffic noise.

Telephone tones,
TV froth,
Text panic.

To work rush,
From work rush,
Grabba pizza,
Spraya bodyspray,
Stretcha thong.

Rush out,
Rush back,
Rush to sleep,
Rush awake.

The robot life,
Of a robot hologram,
Of a physical plane illusion,
Of a human being.

Need to stop,
Need to stop doing.
Need to breathe,
Need to stop not breathing.
Need to be, not do.

Be still
Be still and know
Be still and know that I AM
Be still and know that I AM God.

Attend to the centre.
Silence the periphery.

Inner space is bigger than outer space,

And more supportive.


Interdimensional travels

Is prayer a waste of time?

Meditation - the direct encounter

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Time of his life

He looks at his watch.
It is time he wasn't here.
He looks at his watch again.
It is time he was elsewhere.

But where should he be?
What is the right location,
For being,
At this time of day?

Does the universe allow anyone
To be anywhere
And anywhen
At ten past three
On a grey afternoon?
Or doesn't it matter?

Maybe it doesn't matter at all.
Maybe time is an illusion which we use
To structure our perception of reality
Here in the third dimension,
On a grey afternoon.

A few slow moments
Of freshly baked fruit scones,
Clotted cream,
And chunky third dimension
Strawberry jam
Would be nice.

Accompanied by
A synchronistic pot of Earl Grey tea
Unhurriedly consumed
In a parallel reality.
With a waft of Oil of Bergamot
From the empyrean.

He throws away his watch.
It's time for tea.


Sands of Time
A drawing by Rowena Morill


Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Television in Leeds

An hirsute man in Leeds,
Is watching television
In a television shop window.
An hirsute woman walks by.

Just round the corner,
A traffic warden's trousers

Fall down unnecessarily.

More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Eye contact

It all started at a teashop in Cambridge.
A woman sat down at the table opposite him,
And looked him in they eye.

He would have preferred it
If she had looked him in the ear.

She had a penetrating stare
As if she was an extraterrestrial hired to work
On remote viewing at the science park.

He pretended not to notice
And carried on reading his newspaper.

A little later, he looked up again.
Her eyes were waiting for him.
They were on a plate.

But the rest of her had gone.

More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Holt-Cromer ridge

Standing on the highest point
Of the Holt-Cromer ridge
At midnight,
A man with a monocle
Looks north east
Towards the Cobb at Lyme Regis.

The view is not good.
There are several reasons for this.
One is that the Holt-Cromer ridge

Is not very high.
Another is that Lyme Regis
Lies two hundred and thirty miles to the south west.

More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Deer park in Gloucestershire

A man
With a developed
Social conscience
Is standing

Upside down
On his feet
In a deer park

In Gloucestershire.

A young deer
Walks across
And studies him closely.

"We can't do that
Because of our hooves,"
Says the deer.

"The plural of hoof is heef,"
Says the man.

It is possible
To view this man
As a pedant.

Syntactically flawless

A new scripture shortly to be published

More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Friday, March 04, 2005

Blue mouthwash

The young lady
Is on her own tonight,
So she decides

To do some serious eating.

To prepare for the imminent feast,
She brushes her teeth,
Rinses out her buccal cavity
With blue mouthwash,
And slips into

Something more comfortable.

Next she considers

What might be ingested
And in which order.

She takes out a pad
Of A4 lined paper,
And makes some

Preliminary notes.

Then she considers the means
By which the food
Might be conveyed
To her mouth.

She adds a diagram
Or two
To her notes,
And corrects a couple

Of spellings.

Now it is time to start.

She restrains

The African Turkey Vulture,
Wrings its neck,
And plucks its feathers.

She melts fifteen bars
Of Green and Black's
Organic dark chocolate
With orange and spices,
In a large saucepan.

She cuts the African Turkey Vulture
Into cubes,
Puts them in the liquidiser,
Adds the melted chocolate,
And blends them together well.

This is only the starter,
But it will be served chilled,
On a bed of crinkle-cut crisps.

Next she considers

The question of the wine.

She decides to drink all of it.


Platonic relationship

A new scripture shortly to be published

More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Time for walkies

A man takes his dog out
For a walk.

The dog finds it difficult
To walk on its hind legs,
For five miles at a time.

The man finds it difficult
To walk on all fours,
For five miles at a time.

But they both agree
That for reasons

Of inter-specific diplomacy,
The effort is worthwhile.

Smelling the cat

More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Tuesday girl

She has an
Important decision
To make.

The decision
She has to make
Is this:
Should she take

The decision
Or should she

Wait until after tea
And take

The decision then?

The decision


Such decisions
Should never be hurried.

She has seven boyfriends.

She likes to enjoy a
Different boy
Each day.

But now an
Eighth desirable boy
Has turned up.
He is the fittest

Of the fit.

Must be found
For him.

But she doesn't want

More than one
Boyfriend per day.
That would be excessive,
And she is a

Modest girl
By nature,
And abstemious.

And more than one
Boyfriend a day
Would be expensive

On nail varnish,
And might be

Stressful in
Other ways.

She wonders about

Slotting him in
On Tuesdays,
For a trial period of,

One month.

She could offload
Her current Tuesday boy
Onto her best friend,
But that might be tricky.

Her best friend isn't
A boygirl.
Her best friend is

A girlgirl:
A sista.
Which is why

She is
Her best friend.

Life is agreeably complicated,
But for the modern girl,

Not impossible.

She arrives at a

Prudent solution.
She will put

The decision off
Until after tea,
And until she has

Done her hair,
And texted a few friends,
And listened to a

Bit of iPod,
And read a

Bit of 21st Century Goddess,
And chilled generally.

The only problem is,
It is Monday

And Tuesday is

Due tomorrow.

She wonders how
She will cope,
And if she doesn't

How she will

Cope then.

Her mobile phone rings.
She makes the mistake

Of answering it.

It is a
Boy's voice.

It is not
The boy
She expected.


Convent girl

Aquarian elf girl

Kristianne Wych Christian Wicca