Search Alcuin and Flutterby


Search the Alcuin and Flutterby blog
search engine by freefind
Showing posts with label Men's issues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Men's issues. Show all posts

Friday, May 26, 2006

The good modern husband

Quite properly, a legally constituted pair-bond between husband and wife allows for give and take on both sides. But in these changing times, people can become confused about their role within the family. In response to numerous requests, we offer the following advice to men of advanced character.

Have dinner ready. The good modern husband always has dinner ready. He plans ahead, the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his wife's return. This is a way of letting her know that you are thinking about her and are concerned about her needs. Most women are hungry when they come home from work and the prospect of a good meal, especially her favourite dish, is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you will be refreshed when she arrives. Touch up your aftershave, put on a new tie and be fresh-looking. She has just spent the day with a lot of demanding, work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for her. Her tedious day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your wife arrives home, gather up school books, toys, paper etc. Then run a duster over the tables. In the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for her to unwind by. Your wife will feel that she has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for her comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, comb their hair and change their clothes. They are little treasures and she will like to see them playing their part.

Minimise all noise. At the time of her arrival, eliminate all noise from the dishwasher, the washing machine and the vacuum cleaner. Encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see her when she arrives home. Greet her with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please her.

Listen to her closely. You may have a dozen important things to tell her, but the moment of her arrival home is not the time. Let her talk first - remember that her topics of conversation are far more important than yours.

Make the evening hers. Never complain if she comes home late, or goes out to dinner with others, or to places of entertainment without you. Instead, just try to understand her female world of strain and pressure and her very real need to be home and to relax without judgement.

Your goal is to make your home a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your wife can renew herself in body and in spirit.

Some obvious don'ts. Don't greet her with problems and complaints when she comes home. Don't complain if she's late for dinner. Don't complain if she stays out all night. Count such things as minor compared with what she must have gone through during her busy, difficult day. Don't interrogate her about her actions or question her integrity. Remember, she is the master of the house and as such she will always exercise her will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no need to question her.

A good modern husband always knows his place.




.......................


Marriage night

Marriage in trouble

Casualty

Men's issues

Women's issues

More Norfolk koans

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching

Monday, June 13, 2005

Men make such hopeless priests

http://alcuinbramerton.blogspot.com/2005/06/men-make-such-hopeless-priests.html
Alcuin Bramerton profile ..... Index of blog contents ..... Home



Feminist theology is about more
Than the use of vibrators
In liturgical dance.

Feminist theology is about
The sexist silliness of saying
That God is a cosmic senior citizen
With hair on his chin
But not on his pussy.

Feminist theology's goals
Are to interrogate
The social construction
Of black womanhood
In relation to the African American experience
And ask if "womanist theology"
Might be a more gender-neutral term
Than "feminist theology" -
And more ladylike?

And feminist theology is about
The employment discrimination
Involved in asserting
That 3.5 billion clitorises
Disqualify the human beings
Attached to them
From being priests of Christ
And from the fringe benefits
Which being priests of Christ brings
In terms of pretty dresses
And pensions.

Apparently,
If you are the proud possessor
Of a penis,
You can pray better.

Feminist theology
Questions this dogma.

And feminist theology
Questions other things,
Such as why is it the case
In many churches
That there is so little
Handbag space
Provided on the High Altar?
And why is it is the case

That most medieval
Easter sepulchres
Are not fitted with bidets?

These are live issues
For the female faithful
And they cannot be swept under
The kitchen sink.

It is not easy
To deliver a sermon in church
While you are doing the ironing.

It is true that you could
Get a man in
To do the ironing.

But that would mean
That the man would miss the sermon,
Or do the ironing
Down at the pub.

Or, more likely,
Mow the lawn instead
While laughing loudly
At football jokes
And peeing on the lavatory seat.

Men make such hopeless priests.


....................


Men's issues

Female bishops

Why is church so serious?

Descent

More Norfolk koans

Is God an idealist?

Index of blog contents

Spirituality websites worth watching